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Anger

Sri Chinmoy replies to a letter
from one of his disciples

Dear Ethel:

Your letter was all about your anger. You are positive that your anger is of the quickest. I challenge you with a mighty “No!” I have studied your nature. I wish to say that your fear, especially fear of God, is of the quickest. You say that you have, at long last, discovered that your worst enemy is anger. Anger is not your worst enemy. Doubt, undoubtedly doubt, self-doubt, is by far your superlative foe. However, I am not saying that doubt and fear have caused your anger. I only say that you have to pay more attention to doubt and fear.

You wanted to know if spiritual persons can experience anger. I tell you, not only spiritual persons but even the great spiritual Masters can have anger. Some have realised God, but they have yet to conquer their lower nature. Until they have conquered their lower nature, anger can and does torture them, their outer life.

Again, I must tell you that it is extremely difficult for others to know whether the spiritual Master’s anger is genuine or whether it is just a clever pretence. Sometimes a Master feels that by expressing tempestuous anger to his disciples, whom he considers to be his very own, he can destroy their ignorance-night sooner than if he had employed any other means. True, at times he may express animal-like anger. It is equally true that his anger is immediately followed by Compassion-Flood. This Compassion of his is pure Nectar. Drink it, drink it to your heart’s content. Lo, your life is changed. Totally and for good.

Dear Ethel, your last question is: how to conquer your anger? There are various ways to conquer your anger successfully and gloriously. Suppose right now you are angry with your husband. By the way, I am sure you are amused when I call your husband Socrates and you Xanthippe of the twentieth century. Yes, sometimes you get angry, terribly angry, with my Socrates. When this happens, the first thing you have to do is to repeat aloud three times: “Perhaps he is right, perhaps he is right, perhaps he is right.” Then, silently, you repeat three times: “He is right, he is right, he is right.” Then you say aloud: “In this case, I might have done the same. In this case, I might have done the same. In this case, I might have done the same.” Then, silently, you say: “In this case, I too would have done the same. In this case, I too would have done the same. In this case, I too would have done the same.”

By this time, anger will lose all its hunger for you and it will not be at all interested in devouring you. It will leave you, it will go elsewhere to knock at the door of somebody else.

You have launched into the path of spirituality, dear Xanthippe; you have been meditating. You are making good headway. For some time, concentrate only on divine Peace and leave aside all other divine qualities. During your meditation, try to bring down Peace, sublime and solid, from Above. Your enemy is anger. Anger’s enemy is Peace. Anger openly hates Peace. If you invoke Peace soulfully, then anger will hate you ruthlessly and never will it enter into you, your life, consciously or unconsciously. One thing more: before you invoke Peace, surrender your life-breath ten times to the Will of the Supreme. There is no other way to become one with the Will of the Supreme than to make a conscious surrender to the Will of the Supreme. Your surrender is your safeguard. Right in front of your surrender stands God with His Omnipresence. With your surrender is God’s Omniscience. And in your surrender is God’s Omnipotence.

Anger: just put a ‘d’ before anger and it becomes danger. I do not want you to play with danger, but I want you to play constantly with your soul’s surrender, your heart’s surrender, your mind’s surrender and your body’s surrender.

Your anger-chasing friend,
Chinmoy
Dec. 20, 1968

Published in Sri Chinmoy Answers, part 36.

A Special Prayer

by Sri Chinmoy
Kathmandu, Nepal

When I see my Master's sorrowful eyes,
I cry, I cry and I cry.

When I touch my Master's sorrowful heart,
I sigh, I sigh and I sigh.

When I feel my Master's sorrowful life,
I die, I die and I die.

When I see my Master's God-smiling eyes,
My God-realisation-hope blooms.

When I touch my Master's God-smiling heart,
My God-realisation-promise blossoms.

When I feel my Master's God-smiling life,
My God-realisation-dream-manifested reality
Feeds the God-hungry seekers of God's Universe.

Published in My Sweet Father-Lord, Where are You?

Sri Chinmoy addresses this mantra to all his “spiritual children all over the world.”

“Recite prayerfully and soulfully this mantra, every day, any time of the day, at least one time...

“You are bound to feel in the inmost recesses of your heart something most precious, spiritually precious ... you will be able to treasure it most proudly in your heart of aspiration and your life of dedication.”

Talks by Sri Chinmoy

in Xiamen, China

The Master’s smiles

When there is an opportunity, we should take full advantage of that opportunity. God alone knows whether I shall come back to China once more in this incarnation. There is no possibility right now for me to come back in three years or four years. That is why we are trying to offer as much as possible.

Similarly, you have to feel that if there is an opportunity for you to stay a little longer here on our Christmas Trip, you should take it. I do not want your Divine Enterprise to suffer, but in your absence for two or three weeks, it is not going to collapse. The experiences that you have, and the joy that you get here by staying even one day more, enter into your heart. Then your love for me increases. Your heart tells you, “My Guru says so many things to give me joy. It is all his love for me.” What is more important, business or the Master’s presence? Once you accept the spiritual life, the Master’s smiles, even the Master’s scoldings are all blessings, blessings.

When I was at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, the Mother would be driven in a car. Once I happened to be on a particular street. I did not know that the Mother would be there. The Mother passed by in her car, and all of a sudden she saw me and smiled a little. That smiling face lasted so vividly in my heart for two weeks. I could not believe that she passed by me. It was quite unexpected, and I am sure she never thought that she would see me. But when she saw me, she gave me a smile that lasted so strongly inside my heart for two weeks. One little smile from the Mother increased our love for her so much. That is what the Mother’s smile used to do.

Again, she also showed me affection when she scolded me with a cute slap! Why? The Mother did not want the disciples to go to any other spiritual Centres, but once I went. I pretended that I had her permission.

I had to go before the Mother every day. Early in the morning after my adventure, my time came. My boss, Nolini, said, “Mother is waiting for you!” Everybody was trembling with fear. The Mother gave me a cute slap and said, “When did I give you permission?”

Again, that cute slap she gave out of affection. I was remembering that slap for three months, because I knew it was out of affection that she gave it to me. It was not like an ordinary mother becoming furious and saying, “You rogue!” The Mother said I had done something wrong, but she was full of affection when she gave me the slap. I remember that affection. It was not out of anger that she did it. I felt in that slap so much cute affection she was pouring into me, while she was asking why I had done this kind of thing.

After I joined the Ashram, for two years or even more, I used to go to the Mother three times a day, sometimes four times. Three times I went on a regular basis. Every time I went, my physical mother’s eyes I saw in the Divine Mother’s eyes. Inside the Divine Mother’s eyes I would see my physical mother’s eyes, for two years. When my physical mother was dying, she said to me, “Go, go — go to the Divine Mother.” The Divine Mother was showing this little boy, “I am your mother.”

A little affection lasts for a long time! Again, in the case of some people, no matter how much one gives them, they want more, more. The more one gives them, the more demands they make. Even if their spiritual Master has blessed them for five minutes, if the Master then looks at another disciple for five seconds, everything is lost! Even if the Master has poured and poured his blessings into a disciple, that disciple may feel that the Master looked at the second one more powerfully. Then all the first disciple’s inner wealth disappears.

But in the case of some of my disciples, even if I do not look at them for five days, they will not mind, because their hearts are so deep inside me. Their hearts are right here, inside my heart, so they will never care if I look at someone else for five minutes. They will say, “Whatever I need, Guru is giving me; I know it.” So much love they have for me, and so much faith they have in me.

I have given you the medicine

I have said that Tuesday is the day to conquer jealousy. How will you conquer jealousy? I have given you the medicine. Only once a week you have to take that medicine. Once a week you can pray to God to conquer your jealousy. How long does it take to pray to God to conquer your jealousy? The doctor gives medicine, and once a week the doctor says that you should take this medicine. One day there is medicine for pride, one day for jealousy, and so on — once a week for each undivine quality.

There are some disciples who absolutely do these prayers devotedly. They have not conquered all their weaknesses, but they are taking the medicine. I know that they do it. From time to time I ask them. They immediately say that they do it, and in the inner world I know that they do it.

Sometimes you have to take medicine for a long time to be cured. But if you do not take the medicine, how will you be cured?

On a daily basis if we do not take exercise, if we do not take a shower, if we do not brush our teeth, what will happen? If we do not brush our teeth every day, the dentist will say, “How can I treat you?” It will be a hopeless case!

In the same way, if we do not do our daily prayer, we become weak, weak, weak. If I do not take exercise every day, I will become physically weak. If I do not do necessary things, then will I not suffer? I will be the one to suffer — nobody else. Our parents taught us, “Take a shower, brush your teeth.” In this way they played the role of a doctor with regard to our hygiene. Whatever we have learnt from our parents in this way, we do.

When a spiritual Master comes into our life, he tells us everything to do on a daily basis. We know it is good, but if we neglect and neglect, we become weak. Spiritual Masters always suffer when their disciples do not practise the spiritual disciplines. What can the Master do if the disciples do not practise spiritual disciplines?

Even one book of mine

God comes to us in so many ways to help us through the Master. Life is discipline! Let us take reading. Even one book of mine you can read, your favourite book out of more than one thousand books. Read that one! Let that book be your Bible or your Bhagavad Gita. If you do not want to read any other book, read that book again and again.

I do not need to read my books, because I have written them! But I spend at least two hours a day reading this book and that book. I keep seven or eight books near me, or even more. When one book is drawing my attention, I read from that one. Then I read from another one. In my second room here, there are at least six or seven books, on the desk and in other places. In my case, I do read books. And again, if I do not read even one book, nothing will happen to my spirituality!

There are many people who read seven or eight hours a day. They read and they learn. But if I read one spiritual book, if I read even one page, I get so much joy. And some books I read on a daily basis. The Bhagavad Gita I read. I have at least twenty versions of the Bhagavad Gita, in English and Bengali. Many people have written about the Bhagavad Gita. I also have written about the Bhagavad Gita, but I read others’ books. Some I have chosen to read on a daily basis. On this Christmas Trip I have brought three Bhagavad Gitas with me to read — not one, but three. I get joy by reading about Lord Krishna.

There are disciples who read my writings! They quote from here and there, from my Everest-Aspiration, from this book and that book. Some disciples in New York work so hard. When do they get the time to read? They always quote from here and there. One disciple’s Bible is Everest-Aspiration. There are quite a few disciples who like Everest-Aspiration more than any other book of mine.

Some disciples have told me over the years that they needed an answer to a certain question. They had quite a few of my books, but they did not know which particular book had the answer to their question. They chose a book, not with the hope that they would get the answer. They were not looking for the answer to their question at that moment. Then they turned to one page and discovered that that page had the answer! God alone knows why they selected that book, when they had so many books. Out of so many books, they got the right book. Not only that, they just opened up the book and got the answer. They did not have to read twenty or thirty pages. Why? Because they were so eager to get the answer! That is why they got the right book — not only the right book, but even the right page.

Writing and handwriting

My sincerity speaks! At the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, I used to read. All the books by Sri Aurobindo I have read. Some books I have read many, many, many times. Two volumes are called Collected Poems. How many times I have read them, and how many poems they contain! Two books were difficult to understand, because they were based on Greek mythology. But they were Sri Aurobindo’s books, and out of devotion I read them.

When I started reading Savitri, hundreds of words I did not understand. I wrote down the words, and then I discovered the meaning. Again, the meaning can be totally different, if you do not understand it properly. Even scholars have had different interpretations. Let us take the English word “close.” Somebody has translated or interpreted it this way: “The door of Eternity is closed.” From Sri Aurobindo’s writing that person is getting the sense of the word. But someone else will understand the meaning this way: “The door of Eternity is very near.” These are scholars! One is saying that the door of Eternity is closed completely; another is saying that the door of Eternity is very close. You can choose whichever interpretation you like.

From Savitri I learnt the meaning of literally hundreds of words. Savitri helped me to acquire a very nice vocabulary.

Two poems in particular I liked. One was “Invitation,” and the other was “Who.” These two poems by Sri Aurobindo are absolutely immortal. At least five hundred times, if not more, I have recited them — in my own way, at home, at the top of my lungs. I was getting such joy from these two poems. And there are many others.

Sri Aurobindo’s last thirty or forty poems are so beautiful. After those poems, Sri Aurobindo did not write anything. 

On my birthday the Mother used to give me presents sometimes. On one of my birthdays she gave me a book by Sri Aurobindo, and she autographed the book. After giving me the book, she was very happy. I was also very happy. Then she said to me, “How do you find Sri Aurobindo’s handwriting?”

Sri Aurobindo’s handwriting was on one side and the typed poem was on the other side. The Mother said that I had to read the handwriting first, and if I could not make out the words, then only I could read the typed version on the other side. I was able to read most of the poems, but whenever I had problems, I looked at the typed version. I kept my promise.

Nolini’s handwriting was excellent. But by the time he was over sixty-five or seventy, when I was his secretary, the Ganges was flowing from his pen. When he reviewed my translations, even when his articles were seven or eight pages long, here and there he used to change words. I had to go to him even for one word if I could not figure it out. Afterwards I came to understand what he meant, and then I did not have to make changes.

Handwriting changes! I am no exception. In India I had nice handwriting. In America also I started with nice handwriting. I maintained it for five years. Now it is a different story!

Devotion becomes a magnet

Once Nolini gave me about two hundred of Sri Aurobindo’s letters in Bengali. My job was to select sixty or seventy letters and translate them into English. It was a very difficult task. I had devotion. How to make the selection? When you have devotion, you are in trouble, because you do not know which ones to choose. If you do not have devotion, you just use your mind and immediately decide: this one is good, this one is not as good. But if you use the heart, you are in serious trouble. According to the heart, which letter is not good? Devotion, like a magnet, is drawn to all two hundred letters. But I was supposed to choose seventy letters, so devotion was struggling with reality.

I did it, and the selection came out in a magazine. When it came out in book form, there was a note that said “translated from Bengali.” They did not mention by whom it was translated! Then, for six or seven years, every month my job was to translate Nolini’s writings from Bengali into English.

When you have devotion, devotion becomes a magnet. Love can make a selection, but devotion finds it very difficult to choose one thing and discard another.

Published in Devotion Becomes a Magnet