Recent Content

Diary Entry

by Sri Chinmoy
while in residence at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry, India

15 July

"Who translated this? The translation is very nice. And who wrote the original?"

I said to him: "I translated it. You cannot recognise your own poem?"

"How do you expect me to remember everything that I have written?"

I said: "But you have made no correction."

"Do you mean that I have to correct even if it needs no correction? Put Pashchatyer Kabi O Manishi into chronological order."

"You mean according to their birth dates?"

"Yes."

To the heights

The lamp lies unlit and dismal dark —
Bring to it the spark of your morning love and life,
The lamp is lit and burns.

The lamp burns low and dim —
Bring to it your earnest loyalty and clear adhesion,
The lamp burns high and bright.

The flame mounts slow uncertain —
Bring to it your ardent yearning and unshakeable faith,
The flame mounts swift and firm.

The flame sweeps tireless ever upward —
Call unto it the bending Grace from beyond,
The lamp has become the Sun!

— Nolini Kanta Gupta
13 October 1936

Published in A Service-Flame and a Service-Sun

Stories by Sri Chinmoy

The Master’s Hundredth Birthday

There once lived a spiritual Master who was very, very old. On his hundredth birthday God came to him to bless him for his many long years of service. While he was receiving God's blessing, the Master said to God, "Father, are you blessing me or cursing me?"

"Son, what is the matter? What is wrong with you?" asked God.

"Father, I am afraid of what you are doing now." "Why are you afraid of me?"

"I am not afraid of you, but I am afraid of your request and loving demand. I am afraid that you will ask me to stay on earth for another hundred years. At the age of twenty I realised you. You asked me to reveal you, manifest you and help you establish perfection on earth. Perhaps you do not know, Father, what kind of suffering I have been going through. Your earth is blind to my soul's light. Your Heaven is deaf to my inner cry. Had I known that God-manifestation is infinitely more difficult than God-realisation I would not have cared for God- manifestation at all. You want me to illumine humanity, but the power that is required to illumine humanity either you have not given me or you have given me, and I do not know how to utilise it. In any case, whether I have the power or do not have the power, all my efforts are useless unless and until the power takes effect on earth. Do you agree with me, Father?"

"To some extent I do agree with you. But I wish to tell you that it is not your fault that the world is not accepting you and listening to you. It is earth's lack of receptivity that is responsible."

"Then tell me, Father, who is responsible for earth's lack of receptivity?"

"Son, it is I who am responsible not only for earth's lack of receptivity, but also for all earth's weaknesses, imperfections and limitations. It is my Dream-boat and my Reality-shore that are responsible. My Dream-boat does not sail as fast as I want it to, and my Reality-shore does not satisfy my Dream-boat as soon as it reaches the shore; therefore, neither my Reality-shore nor my Dream-boat are happy with each other or with themselves. I try to keep the boat and the shore together. I try to feed them together, please them together and fulfil them together. But very often when earth plays the role of the Reality-shore and Heaven plays the role of the Dream-boat, earth's achievements, possessions and treasures are so limited, so insignificant, that when the Dream-boat reaches earth's shore it is frustrated. And when Heaven becomes the Reality-shore and earth the Dream-boat, when the Dream-boat reaches Heaven, either Heaven's superiority complex, its indifferent attitude, its reluctance to share its plenitude or the bewilderment created for earth by the magnificence of Heaven's treasure disappoint the Dream-boat badly. Anyway, I do not blame you, my son; I do not blame my Dream-boat or my Reality-shore; I blame myself."

"Father, I do not want to blame you, but I wish to make a suggestion, if I may."

"Son, let me hear your suggestion."

"Father, your game should be played by four separate persons. As in a relay race four runners are required to complete the race, even so in this divine race we can have four runners. The first runner will realise you; the second will reveal you; the third will manifest you; and the fourth will complete the race and establish perfection on earth. Since you are by far the fastest runner, the fourth one will be yourself."

"Son, there are some runners who feel that if they alone complete the race that will give them the most happiness. There are some students who, instead of covering a certain distance and leaving it to others to complete the course of study, want to go straight through from kindergarten to university. They feel that if they go to the end of their course, then alone will they be satisfied. Of course, I must say, my son, that there are some children of mine who make most sincere promises that they will manifest me after they have realised me. I give them realisation on that condition, but they are so clever that once they get their realisation they cry and cry for their heavenly existence. They don't want to stay on this ignorant and imperfect earth. There are also some really clever children of mine who tell the world before they die that they will come back again. They tell their disciples and the world that they will come back again and again to illumine mankind until all human beings have realised me. Of course, there are some who really mean what they say. They do try to keep their promise for earth's transformation by coming back to earth again. But unfortunately, most of them do not. Also, there are some to whom I give rest because they have worked very hard; and I know that if I want to send them into the world to work for me again, they will gladly go, not only once, but as many times as I want them to. Naturally, those children of mine are closest to me. Because they have pleased me to such an extent on earth, I feel obliged to please them in Heaven, and I do.

"Now, son, let me change the subject. Tell me, is there any special reason why today, on your birthday, you are so sad and depressed?"

"My sadness has been a daily experience since I began to accept disciples. Needless to say, I accepted disciples at your express command. Father, I tell you a supreme secret: to accept disciples is to lose one's inner freedom."

"Son, why do you say that?"

"Father, you take human incarnation and accept disciples. Then see if you have to lose your inner freedom or not."

"Son, explain to me in detail what you mean by losing your inner freedom."

"It is very simple, Father. I have thousands and thousands of disciples. Now you know it is you who asked me to take certain close disciples in whom you had faith, to work for your manifestation on earth. But you do not realise that those in whom you do not have much faith feel miserable. They feel that I do not care for them personally, and that is why they are not close to me. They feel that they can do much better than those who are close to me. They feel that it is sheer blind partiality that makes me keep some disciples closer to me than they are. Their sufferings, not to speak of their jealousy, anger and other undivine qualities, take away all my joy. Also, there are some disciples whom you wanted to be close to me for your own reasons which I do not myself understand. I keep them close to me only to please you, but they have disappointed me hundreds and thousands of times. When they disappoint me, all the joy goes out of my life. And you never listen to me. I tell you that everybody should be given an equal chance. As they fail me, all those who are close should be thrown aside, and others should get the opportunity to please me. They are also your children.

"I could keep all the work on a day-to-day basis and have new disciples do the jobs each day so that nobody will feel that he is important, not to speak of indispensable. But you tell me that each seeker is like a plant. It has to grow slowly and steadily into a huge tree. If I change the plant to a new place every day, it will not develop properly. In fact, it may totally die. But you expect much from your children, especially from your selected children, and the frustration that I go through when I see that the plants I am caring for so lovingly are not growing at all satisfactorily is beyond measure. Through my disciples you teach me the lesson of renunciation most powerfully.

"You made me the spiritual leader of thousands of people. When you ask me to tell them to do something, I do tell them. And when I see that they are not doing what they are supposed to, I feel miserable because either I have not conveyed your message to them clearly or they do not love you in me to such an extent that they will do the things you have told me to tell them. And I also feel miserable that I fail to please you because they are such imperfect instruments. Why I cannot make them more perfect I do not know. Perhaps I do not have enough concern for them."

God felt very sorry for the frustration of the poor Master. He said, "You do have concern for them. It is their own ingratitude that prevents them from giving importance to your advice at every moment, and thus becoming perfect. When you ask your dear ones to do something in front of others, they get a lion's strength. They get such joy and pride that out of thousands of people you have chosen them to do a special thing for you. But when you ask them to do the same thing privately, they feel that nobody is there to appreciate and admire them. Then they feel that it can be delayed, and even if it is not done at all, nothing will happen, for you will forgive them. Son, I now also feel that you should not keep anybody permanently close to you unless and until that person consciously, devotedly and unconditionally tries to please you at every moment. Use your occult and spiritual power and know in the inner world whether they are really trying to please you in your own way, which is my own way. In front of others they will try to please you at every moment because there are people around to see how great they are. But inwardly they are behaving in a very undivine way. Use your occult power to know what they are doing in their everyday lives, in their inner activities.

"Those who are one step behind can easily come forward if they develop real love, devotion and surrender to me in you. You have to give them the assurance that they need not always lag behind. Equal opportunity is given to everyone. The journey starts at the same point, but some walk fast and pass their fellows considerably. Alas, those fast walkers may become tired. They may become proud. Pride is one thing that makes disciples weak so that they do not work well or divinely any more. Another thing is insecurity. Although others are or were far behind in spiritual progress, they become afraid that at any moment these people will catch up with them and surpass them, and they will lose all their glory and their position. This feeling of insecurity also weakens disciples considerably. Because they think constantly of others, they cannot walk any farther. So, son, make it clear to all your spiritual children that their love, devotion and surrender to me inside you have to be replenished not only every day, not only every hour and every minute, but every second if somebody wants to be your best and most perfect instrument, your closest and most beloved child."

"Father, I am really grateful to you for granting me the inner and outer freedom for acceptance and rejection, for concern and indifference, according to each disciple's merit. Let everyone get you in me according to his or her aspiration and dedication at every second, and not like old men and women who have served the government faithfully and now receive a pension although they no longer do their jobs. There is no pension in the spiritual life. Love, devotion and surrender can and must increase every second so that divinity can manifest more perfectly and completely every second."

"Son, I fully agree with your philosophy."

"Father, this is your philosophy, and today I am telling you outwardly so that you can hear whether I have learned it correctly."

God's Light is Infinity's Life, Immortality's Soul and Eternity's Goal.

Story written on the drive from London to Brighton in England.

Published in AUM – Vol.1, No. 7, July 27, 1974

God’s New Philosophy

There was a spiritual Master of a very high calibre who was usually quite happy and cheerful. He always asked his disciples to be as children, telling them that if they were happy they would be able to make fast progress. According to his philosophy, this happiness had to be the happiness of the entire being. He often warned his disciples not to fool themselves and others with false happiness.

"You must pray and meditate to acquire inner happiness," he would say. "This happiness cannot be bought or sold. Inner happiness increases only through constant self-offering to God's Will and soulful gratitude to God's Compassion."

Some of the Master's disciples were successful in acquiring true inner happiness, while others were unsuccessful. Among the unsuccessful ones there were many who tried to fool themselves and others by displaying false happiness. And among those who had acquired happiness, most found it difficult to maintain their happiness because of the intervention of doubts, anxieties, jealousy and insecurity.

The spiritual Master used to tell his disciples that he was a garbage can. He said he was more than ready, more than eager to accept all their inner impurities and imperfections. These he would empty into the universal Consciousness as soon as possible so that he could also remain happy, and then he would immediately fill his inner vessel with Light and Delight from his Inner Pilot.

It happened that on a certain occasion, after the Master had received the teeming imperfections of his disciples in the form of worries, doubts, jealousy and other undivine qualities, he deliberately kept them inside himself in order to see what would happen.

In two days' time the Master found that he had become as undivine as his disciples were. Their imperfections had become part and parcel of his life, and these imperfections became so powerful that he was compelled to doubt even the very existence of God. He became depressed, destructive and doomed to disappointment because of his tremendous failure in the spiritual life.

When God finally came to him and blessed him with His infinite Love and Concern, the Master was so sad and angry that he said to God,"God, I have been fooled by you, and I have been fooled by my disciples. You promised me that you would help me to manifest you here on earth, but now it seems that you have totally forgotten your promise. And you are not the only culprit. My disciples have also promised me that they will help me in every way to manifest you. Now, either they have totally forgotten to help me, or they are deliberately avoiding me and evading their responsibility.

"I am now helpless. Both Heaven and earth are against me. What is worse is that I am always being fooled by the world's flattery and its cleverness. My disciples stand before me with folded hands. They prostrate themselves before me and take the very dust of my feet. In every way they demonstrate outwardly how spiritual they are, how humble, how devoted and how totally surrendered they are. But God, you and I know how insincere most of them are.

"It is said that the disciples have to make surrender to the Will of the Supreme inside their Master. But in my case I see that I have made practically complete surrender to the ignorant demands of my disciples. I have been asking them to be happy, and I thought that if I could add to their happiness by pleasing them they would be able to make progress. But now I see how easy it is for them to fold their hands and bow down to me with utmost hypocrisy, and how difficult it is for me to please them sincerely in their outer life.

"Lord, you have repeatedly asked me to make my disciples happy. Well, I have tried in every possible way, and the result is that now I am completely bound by their ignorance. I am totally surrendered to their ignorance. They have more freedom than I have.

"Before I realised you, Lord, I had only one possession, and that was you. Now that I have realised you, you have blessed me or cursed me with many possessions in the persons of my disciples. These possessions of mine are binding me badly. At every moment they make demands on my life, consciously or unconsciously, and all these demands I literally kill myself trying to fulfil. Yet, whenever something good happens in their lives, they feel that it is because they have worked so hard, aspired so sincerely. They feel it is themselves who are responsible for their successes. But when anything goes wrong, immediately they blame me. They feel that my inner or outer guidance was not correct, not wise, and that it came not from you, not even from my own soul, but from my vital being, from my ego-personality. They never think that perhaps they themselves have not followed my directions, or that their ideas of success and failure are not necessarily yours.

"Lord, you know I always execute your Will. It is you who give success or failure, and it is you who enjoy this so-called success or failure as an experience of yours. But my disciples never see you in me. They only see me with their earthly human eyes. Sometimes outwardly they speak ill of me; inwardly they curse me. Always I am mercilessly caught by them. I am torn to pieces between your compassion and their frustration.

"Before I realised you, Lord, I had more freedom. I used to think of you only, as the tree, the main trunk, the root. Now that I have realised you, you have asked me to pay attention to all the branches, leaves, fruits and flowers. But these branches, leaves, fruits and flowers misunderstand my self-offering constantly. I am totally helpless. Your compassion is saving my life, but I feel that I am the worst possible fool on earth. I am always at the mercy of my disciples.

"You asked me to inspire my disciples and illumine them by advising unconditional surrender. I have executed your express wish and loving demand for them. Now I wish to say that it is I who have made unconditional surrender both to you and to the ignorance-king inside my disciples. Why? Just for one reason: because you have asked me to make them happy. Unfortunately, even this tremendous sacrifice of mine has not made all my disciples happy. So you see, Lord, how love-power and compassion-power can be mercilessly exploited."

"Son, better late than never I have come to tell you that force is also a manifestation of true love. Love is force, and force can also be love. If you really love humanity, then if force is required to do what is best for humanity, you will use it. From now on your philosophy will explain love in more detail. Divine love is the most powerful force, and divine force is also the most powerful love.

"Human love and human force are the precursors of destruction. But divine love and divine force are the precursors of perfection. Divine love is inner will. Divine perfection is the perfection of one's entire being, of one's larger part, one's extended self. This self is illumined and perfected through my justice-light as well as through my compassion-height.

"My son, until now you have used only my compassion-height in accordance with my Will. But from now on I want you to use my justice-light as well. From now on I want my justice-light and my compassion-height to act in you like two complementary souls. My compassion-height will awaken the sleeping souls, and my justice-light will illumine the aspiring souls. I now entrust you with a new responsibility, a new capacity and a new opportunity to manifest me perfectly on earth."

"Lord, since you want me to play the role of your eternal server in your cosmic Game, I am more than ready to be of totally dedicated service to you."

"Son, you are more than a server, infinitely more than a server to me. You are a real partner, in whom I can have perfect faith. Together you and I shall challenge the pride of ignorance-night, conquer ignorance-night, illumine ignorance-night and make it one, inseparably one with my ever-transcending light.

"Son, give me the joy of feeling that you are my partner and my server. When you are my partner we share our experiences equally. But when one of us becomes the Master and the other one becomes the server, the experience cannot be on the same plane of consciousness. So, son of my heart and soul, son of my silence-height and sound-might, you are my eternal partner as well as my server. Do you agree with my philosophy?"

"Father, the human being in me agrees with your philosophy with all the love and gratitude which it can offer you. The divine in me is praying to you to grant me something infinitely more divine than gratitude to offer you. I feel that my gratitude is not the answer to your Infinity, Eternity and Immortality. I need something infinitely more meaningful, fruitful and significant to offer in praise at your lotus-feet."

"Son, it seems you will never understand my philosophy. Who will praise what at whose feet? Once and for all I am telling you that you and I are one. We are eternally equal. We are immortally partners."

"Lord, I wanted consolation from you. You have consoled me. Now I wish to spell the word consolation for you. Please tell me if I am correct. I-L-L-U-M-I-N-A-T-I O-N. Am I correct, Father?"

"Yes, my son, you are."

Story written in Brighton, England.

Published in AUM – Vol.1, No. 8, August 27, 1974

The Master’s dearest disciple

"Master, Master, you need material wealth for God-manifestation and I need spiritual wealth for God-realisation. I shall give you all my material wealth and place all the members of my family at your feet. I have four sons, three daughters and a devoted wife. We shall all be at your feet. But Master, please do me a favour. Make me your best disciple, your dearest disciple. I know it will take me a very long time to realise God. I am not ready for that. You and God know when I will be ready or whether I shall ever be ready. Right now God-realisation is sheer imagination for me. I want something else from you, which is nowhere near God-realisation. I just want to be your dearest disciple.

"Your dearest and best disciple right now is Rakhal. You have no idea how jealous I am of him and how I hate him. I do not drink even a glass of water without thinking of him — without feeling jealous of him and cursing him and all his forefathers. Master, you advise us that we have to conquer jealousy. I have now discovered a supreme secret: If, out of your infinite bounty, you make me dearer to you than Rakhal, then all my jealousies will vanish. You want my nature's perfection. I assure you, Master, that once I am closer to you than Rakhal, I shall be absolutely perfect and please you in every way, far more than he is doing now. Just give me a chance."

"Rohin, you think that by becoming closer to me than Rakhal you will be able to conquer your jealousy. You think that once you are at the top of the tree, you will not be jealous of others who are at the foot of the tree. But I tell you, this is not true. Jealousy has an inseparable friend named insecurity. If I make you my dearest disciple, you will all the time be thinking of the ones who are at the foot of the tree. You will be constantly plagued by the fear that at any moment they will climb up the tree and stand beside you. Then naturally your glory will disappear, and you will again be plagued by jealousy. Anyway, I wish to tell you that unless you deserve to be closest and dearest to me, I will not be able to make you closest, because you will fail me in the life-examination."

"Master, if you make me your dearest disciple, I assure you that I will not fail you. You must promise to make me your dearest disciple, and I will be ready to sit at any examination.”

"Then tomorrow I shall make you my dearest disciple under the condition that you pass my examination."

"Master, I am ready."

"All right. Tomorrow, if you can touch the feet of Rakhal in front of all my disciples, I shall immediately make you my absolutely dearest disciple."

"Master, how can I do that? He is just an ordinary human being like me. He is also full of imperfections. Even though you love him most, nobody even thinks that he is perfect. So why do you want me to touch the feet of an imperfect and ignorant person? I can touch your feet twenty-four hours a day, kiss the dust of your feet, but not his. If you change your request and ask me to bless Rakhal, that I can easily do — but never will I be able to touch his feet."

The Master said, "Tomorrow you come here with your servant. This is my express wish.”

The following day Rohin went to the Master with his servant. There were many disciples gathered together, and the Master said to his dearest disciple, "Go and touch the feet of Rohin's servant."

Rakhal immediately followed the Master's command.

Then the Master said, "Pray to Rohin's servant as you pray to me, with a devoted heart." Most soulfully Rakhal prayed to Rohin's servant.

Rohin was completely bewildered, and the admirers of Rakhal felt miserable, but they could not say anything because he was following the Master's express order. "The Master knows what is best for Rakhal and for everybody," they said to themselves.

The Master then asked Rakhal how it was possible for him to touch the feet of Rohin's servant and to pray to him.

Rakhal replied, "When I look at a person, I enter into that person and see you in him, you alone; therefore, it is so easy for me to pray to him, for I know it is you who will receive my prayer. My only desire is that one day you will grant me a boon."

"What boon is that?"

"Master, that when I look at any person on earth, I shall see only you, and not only on the inside but on the outside as well. For me I wish there to be only you and nobody else on earth — you in infinite forms. I would like to see all human beings as the manifestation of your infinite forms."

The Master gave Rakhal a soulful smile and said, "Your prayer is granted, my child." Then he turned to Rohin and said, "Rohin, you have so far been playing the role of a seeker. Today I wish you to play the role of a judge. I have fulfilled Rakhal's desire. I could not fulfil your desire, but I want to please you at least in one way. So play the role of an impartial judge and not a seeker, and then see if what I have done is right.”

Why the Master won't speak about other Masters

There was once a well-known spiritual Master who had a few thousand disciples whom he was extremely fond of and who were also very proud of him. The Master had given talks at various places and had answered thousands of questions after his talks.

Many times the disciples of other Masters came to listen to his talks. At times they showed him tremendous respect, but at other times they created problems for him. Frequently they would deface this Master's picture or posters announcing his talk, or paste posters of their own Master right on top of his. A few times, before his talk began, they distributed pamphlets about their own Masters at the entrance. Sometimes they distributed pamphlets attacking this Master at his own talks. At times they asked him questions about their own Master, but he was wise enough to avoid such questions. He always told them that they knew more about their own Master than he did.

At one particular meeting a disciple of another Master asked this Master, What is your opinion about Master X?"

The Master replied, "I see you are wearing his picture. That means you are a member of his family; you are his son. Won't a son know more about his father than a stranger does? I am like a stranger to your family, so how can you expect me to know about its members? I do not know what you have in your house. I know only what I have in my house. Since I have not been to your house, naturally whatever I say about it will be wrong. And even if I had visited your house once or twice, my description of it still would probably be all wrong. I am the wrong person to tell you anything about your Master. You can and will have every right to challenge my knowledge of your spiritual Father."

The young seeker said to the Master, "Then why do you claim to be a God-realised soul?"

The Master asked, "When did I say I was God-realised?"

"All right," said the seeker, "you have not told anybody that you are God-realised, but all your disciples without exception claim that you are a God-realised soul of the highest order. But if you are really a God-realised soul, then you are bound to know everything about my Master — how great he is, how kind he is, how earth treasures him and how much pride Heaven has in him. All this you are bound to know if you are a real spiritual Master. If you are a fake, naturally you will not know anything about my spiritual Master, who has no equal either in Heaven or on earth."

With a broad smile, the Master said to the seeker, "I don't deny that your Master is by far the best Master on earth. I am glad that you have found such a great Master as your own. At the same time, I am very glad that you are not a disciple of mine. If I had accepted you as one of my disciples, by this time my boat would have sunk."

The young man said, "Now that you have insulted me, I wish you to be totally sincere and say that my Master is by far the best."

The Master replied, "I have no objection to saying that your Master is by far the best, and I have already done so. Why are you not satisfied?"

The seeker said, "I don't feel any conviction in your words."

The Master said, "Do you want me to act like a wise man or like a fool?"

"Since you are a spiritual Master, I do expect you to act like a wise man and not like a fool," replied the seeker.

"In that case, you must be satisfied with my answer," said the Master. "I am acting like a real wise man. You asked me about your Master, and my answer was that I do not know. If my answer had been different, if I had said that I knew all about your Master but would not tell, you would have created problems for me and for yourself. You would have immediately said to yourself, 'He does not want to tell me anything about my Master either because he knows my Master is unrealised or because he knows my Master is great and he is jealous of him.' But in either case you would have been disappointed. Doubt, suspicion and other undivine qualities would have entered into you with regard to your own Master. However, if I say I do not know about your Master, you are apt to forgive my ignorance; therefore, it is always safer and wiser for both of us if I say I do not know about your Master. In this case, ignorance is real bliss. 'I do not know' is by far the best answer."

Published in God’s New Philosophy

Inner Experiences

A lecture by Sri Chinmoy
at Friends’ House, Ship Street, Brighton, England

Dear sisters and brothers, here we are all seekers of the highest transcendental Truth and Light. Just because you have been kind enough to come here today to see the seeker in me, I wish to share with you a few inner experiences of mine.

My first and foremost experience is the discovery of the importance of the spiritual heart. This heart constantly aspires to climb high, higher, highest in order to reach the highest pinnacle of Truth and Light. This heart is the heart of inseparable oneness — oneness with you, with God, with the world at large. Inside this heart, the seeker in me has discovered three most intimate friends and eternal friends: love, devotion and surrender. This love is divine love. This devotion is divine devotion. This surrender is divine surrender.

Human love we all know. It is a song of temptation, a song of frustration, a song of destruction. But divine love is the song of aspiration, the song of realisation, the song of perfection and, finally, the song of Satisfaction supreme here on earth and there in Heaven.

Human devotion is the song of attachment, conscious or unconscious. There is practically no light in the song of attachment. But when we have divine devotion, which is the devotion we offer to the Highest in order to become one with its Light and Delight, the seeker in us becomes the Lover divine. At that time, the seeker in us devotes his entire life and his entire being to a higher, more fulfilling reality, to the Supreme Beloved and the supreme Cause. He is devoted only to the Truth, Light, Beauty and Delight which abound in infinite measure in the heart of the universal Consciousness. His song offers him deepest joy, which he feels in the inmost recesses of his heart. The song of devotion leads him to the sea of Nectar-Bliss.

The third eternal friend that I have discovered inside the heart is divine surrender. This surrender is not imposed; this is not the surrender of a slave to his master, which is founded upon fear. The divine surrender that I am speaking of is the feeling of oneness with the Highest. This surrender is founded upon oneness, inseparable oneness. The unillumined in us is crying to enter into the illumined in us and become totally illumined itself. The finite has become conscious of its own infinite existence on the highest plane of consciousness; therefore, the finite aspires to become consciously one, inseparably one, with its own highest reality: Infinity. This surrender is not being compelled; it is spontaneous, willing and cheerful. Divine surrender has discovered that self-giving to the Divine is nothing other than God-becoming.

The seeker in me has discovered a cosmic tree. This cosmic tree has many, many branches, but the three most significant branches are love, devotion and surrender. When we climb up the tree and try to sit on the love-branch, we see God’s Door, His Heart’s Door, which is immediately opened for us. When we climb up a little higher and sit on the devotion-branch, we see someone inside God’s Room beckoning us to enter. And finally, when we climb up still higher and sit on the surrender-branch, we again see someone beckoning to us. But this time it is not a representative of God; it is God Himself. God Himself comes out and signals us to enter into His Room. He says to us, “My children, now you have seen in Me the perennial Truth, Light and Bliss. Here is My Crown. Here is My Throne. These are all for you. You have been wallowing in the pleasures of ignorance from time immemorial. There was a time when you claimed ignorance as your very own. Now is the time to claim Me, My infinite Light, Peace and Bliss, as your very own. It is time to claim Me as your birthright.”

A life of love divine tells us who God is.
A life of devotion divine tells us where God is.
A life of surrender divine makes us sit on the Throne of God and wear the Crown of God.

The seeker in me has discovered the path of the heart. There is another path — the path of the mind. There are people who want to follow that path, but there one encounters many risks. When one walks along that path, a few so-called friends make his acquaintance: fear, doubt, anxiety and worry. These so-called friends eventually prove to be veritable enemies. In the beginning, doubt makes the seeker feel that if he can doubt everything and everyone in the world, then he can play the role of a supreme judge. The seeker soon comes to realise, however, that his doubting faculty has not made him a chief justice; it has only created a malignant cancer in him.

Fear, in a tricky way, wants to make the seeker feel that it is warning him and cautioning him. But the seeker eventually comes to realise that fear is only blocking his mind and tormenting his entire being. He has not done anything wrong, so why should he be afraid of anything or anyone? Only a criminal, only someone who has done something wrong, need be afraid. So the seeker comes to know that the message of fear has no validity; then fear becomes forceless.

Worries and anxieties make the seeker feel that he needs them in order to keep alert. They make him feel that the reason he is so stricken by worries and anxieties is because he has concern for his outer and inner wants. But alas, there comes a time when the seeker who is following the mental path realises that it is not anxiety or worry that show real concern for his outer and inner wants or for mankind. When we are in the physical, we may say that worries and anxieties show our concern for others. But when we are in the soul, we discover that real concern is the feeling of oneness, the oneness of our expanded, unlimited self with the various parts of our own being and with the rest of the world.

Real concern for ourselves lies in our conscious awareness of our integral oneness with the body, vital, mind, heart and soul. Right now, we have established a physical unity from the soles of our feet to the crown of our head. In all our limbs we feel unity. When our feet and hands hurt, we feel pain all over our body. Similarly, if our brain-power has achieved something, if we have stood first in a university examination, then immediately our entire body-consciousness becomes full of joy, delight and pride. Why? Precisely because our whole body has established inseparable oneness with the mind. This same kind of oneness that exists in the physical we have to establish with all the parts of our being — physical, vital, mind, heart and soul. If we can do this, we will have real concern for our own existence. But if we want to have concern for the world, we have to know that genuine concern has to come from our feeling of inseparable and indispensable oneness with our infinite existence, with our countless brothers and sisters.

When we live in the heart, our road is short. When we live in the mind, the road is long; also there are quite a few hooligans that come to rob us. If we are very brave and powerful and have indomitable will, then we can walk along the path of the mind successfully. But if we walk along the path of the heart, we find that it is at once the safest and the most effective way, for it is the path of divine children. When we follow the path of the heart, we automatically become divine children. When we become divine children, we spontaneously follow the path of the heart. If we follow the path of the mind, we feel that we can accomplish everything all by ourselves; we need very little help or practically no help from above. We feel that we are the doers, that we can do everything. But a child never feels that he is the doer. He always feels that his mother and father will do everything for him. He has the feeling because he has established his oneness with his parents. One smile from the child is enough to give the parents infinite pleasure. In the child’s smile, the Kingdom of Heaven is immediately brought down to earth. One cry from the child is enough to make the parents muster all their love-power, compassion-power and concern-power. It immediately builds a bridge between Heaven and earth. The child cries in the living room and the mother comes running from the kitchen, for she feels that it is her bounden duty to come and please the child. The divine child’s cry has the power of uniting earth and Heaven.

It is children who make constant progress. They live in the world of dreams, and dreams are nothing other than realities in the making. Today’s dreams are tomorrow’s realities. Today’s imperfect human being will be tomorrow’s perfect human being. Today’s weakness is tomorrow’s strength. A child is God’s Dream-Boat today. Tomorrow he will not only reach the Golden Shore, but he will also become the Shore itself. This is the path of the heart which the seeker in me has discovered.

Dear sisters and brothers, I wanted to share with you the experiences that I have had. Now I have offered them to the seeker in each of you with my heart’s deepest love, my soul’s deepest gratitude and with my feeling of inseparable oneness with each of you.

Published in My Rose Petals, part 4

Everest-Aspiration Talks

by Sri Chinmoy

It Is Not Enough

7:40 a.m.
Jamaica High School Track,
Jamaica, New York

Body, what are you looking for? You are looking for comfort. Don’t you know that comfort is nothing but darkness and blindness in disguise? Vital, what are you looking for? You are looking for pleasure. Don’t you know that pleasure is ignorance-sea in disguise? Mind, what are you looking for? You are looking for a complacent life. Don’t you know that complacency is nothing short of the beginning of self-destruction? O heart, what are you looking for? You are looking for security. But you cherish your feebleness; you cherish your attachment-life. You look here, there and everywhere only to lead a life of attachment. Don’t you know that the life of attachment is nothing short of immediate frustration? Frustration is bound to be followed by destruction, and destruction is death in disguise.

O body, in order to develop more of a sense of responsibility day in and day out, you have to pray for God to shower His choice Compassion on you. O vital, in order to develop more simplicity, you have to pray for God to grant you His constant blessingful Concern. O mind, in order to develop more sincerity, you have to pray for God to grant you His immediate Peace. In peace you will develop and increase your sincerity. O heart, in order to free yourself from attachment, in order to enlarge your vision, in order to have a palace of wideness, a spacious building with a spacious room inside for you to converse with the Lord Supreme, you have to pray to Him.

O my body, your sense of responsibility is not enough. You need more responsibility. O my vital, your sense of simplicity is not enough. You definitely need more simplicity. O my mind, your sense of sincerity is not enough. You need, without fail, more sincerity. O my heart, your sense of purity is not enough. You unmistakably need more purity. O members of my inner family, if you do not have responsibility, simplicity, sincerity and purity in abundant measure, then my life’s journey will end in utter failure. Therefore, I beg of you to have a greater sense of responsibility, simplicity, sincerity and purity.

Unless all of you develop more of a sense of responsibility, simplicity, sincerity and purity, the Supreme in me will remain unfulfilled. And each day that my God remains unfulfilled, I see and feel that my promise to God, my beloved God, is dining with frustration, destruction and death. Each day I feel that I am disappointing my Beloved Supreme; I am even deserting Him. Because of you, O body, vital, mind and heart, I am unable to please the Supreme, my Beloved Supreme.

O body, if you do not abide by my request; O vital, if you do not see eye to eye with me; O mind, if you fail to please me; O heart, if you do not please the Supreme the way I want you to please Him, then there will be no option, no choice. God will, out of His infinite Bounty, give me new instruments, instruments that are more willing, more eager, more obedient to His Will. And if you fail the Supreme in me in this incarnation, then rest assured that you will have to wait for countless years, if not indefinitely, before you will be granted another opportunity. Therefore, O body, vital, mind and heart, do not miss this golden opportunity. The golden day awaits your life, my life and God’s Life every day. You fulfil the Supreme in me and I shall fulfil the Supreme in you. You give me what I need and I shall give you what you need. What you desperately need is satisfaction. You give me obedience-oneness and I shall give you satisfaction-perfection.

Awareness, Devotedness, Soulfulness and Selflessness

12:50 p.m.
Dag Hammarskjöld Auditorium,
United Nations, New York

Awareness, devotedness, soulfulness and selflessness: these are my lifelong friends. Awareness has transformed my animal life into human life. Devotedness has transformed my human life into divine life. Soulfulness has lengthened my divine life, and selflessness has immortalised my divine life.

Awareness has discovered all the higher worlds. Devotedness has discovered all the inner worlds. Soulfulness has discovered God’s universal Life. Selflessness has discovered God’s transcendental Life.

Awareness has a special connection with God the Creator. Awareness has pleased God the Creator in a special way. Devotedness has a special connection with God the Saviour. Devotedness has pleased God the Saviour in a special way. Soulfulness has a special connection with God the Liberator. Soulfulness has pleased God the Liberator in a special way. Selflessness has a special connection with God the Supreme Singer, God the Supreme Dancer and God the Supreme Lover. Selflessness has pleased God the Supreme Singer, God the Supreme Dancer and God the Supreme Lover in a special way.

On the physical plane my awareness-friend has made me smart, my devotedness-friend has made me bright, my soulfulness-friend has made me pure, my selflessness-friend has made me sure. My awareness-friend stands at my heart’s door and prevents ignorance from entering into my heart-room. My devotedness-friend tells me always to be thankful and grateful to the Supreme Pilot within me for what He has unconditionally done for me. My soulfulness-friend helps me identify myself with God the Creator, God the creation, God the One and God the many, to enjoy supreme oneness with the Beloved Supreme. My selflessness-friend helps me always to become consciously part and parcel of God the creation, and a surrendered instrument of God the Creator. My selflessness-friend tells me that today’s unrealised and unfulfilled man is definitely going to be tomorrow’s realised and fulfilled man.

The consciousness-ladder has four unique rungs: awareness, devotedness, soulfulness and selflessness. The consciousness-ladder that unites earth’s cry and Heaven’s Smile is for the seeker in me. When I step on the first rung, awareness, my ignorance-friend of the hoary past looks at me and is amazed, totally amazed, that I have stepped on the awareness-rung. Finally it disappears in utter frustration and failure. When I step on the second rung of the consciousness-ladder, devotedness, the ignorance-dream that once upon a time tortured my very being and existence is no more. The ignorance-dream cries for transformation. It cries to me to transform it into wisdom-reality. When I step on the soulfulness-rung, the world of frustration, worries, anxieties and utter failure stands before me for its improvement, progress and radical change. When I stand, finally, on the selflessness-rung, I become inseparably one with what the world has and with what the world does not have. What the world has is an inner cry; what the world does not have is a soulful smile from the ever-transcending Heights.

There is only one outer world, and this outer world is my preparation-world, which is founded upon my own awareness, devotedness, soulfulness and selflessness.

I Do Not Imitate; I Do Not Initiate

10:00 p.m.
North Shore Community Arts Center,
Great Neck, New York

I do not imitate; I do not initiate. I do not imitate anything, I do not imitate anybody; for if I imitate, then I prevent my Beloved Supreme from revealing His new creation. At every moment He wants to create something new, something meaningful and something fruitful in and through me. I do not initiate anything on any plane, for I may make mistakes; I may commit deplorable blunders. I may mislead others.

I do not imitate; I do not initiate. I just concentrate, meditate and contemplate. I concentrate in order to pierce the ignorance-veil which has enveloped me. I meditate in order to liberate myself from ignorance-dream. I contemplate in order to remember what I did with my Beloved Supreme inside Him, around Him, within Him and without Him, long, long, long ago.

I concentrate in order to run the fastest towards my destined Goal, towards my Beloved Supreme. I meditate so that my Goal, my Beloved Supreme, can come to me sooner than at once. I contemplate so that my Lord Supreme and I will run together to find a place where we can meet and again resume our age-old marathon conversation.

I do not imitate; I do not initiate. I concentrate, I meditate and I contemplate. My concentration gives me the strength to fight against teeming ignorance. My meditation gives me poise amidst the turbulent weather of human life. My contemplation lets me always feel that my Lord Supreme, my Beloved Supreme, is hearing my aspiration-cry, my heart’s inmost cry.

Published in Everest-Aspiration, part 2

Diary Entry

by Sri Chinmoy
while in residence at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry, India

14 July

Nolini-da said: "Tomorrow the athletic competitions will start. Can you ask Albert to make shorts for me? I am sorry, I hope he can do it for me on such short notice."

I went to Albert-da and told him about Nolini-da's wish. Albert-da was always most affectionate to me and, in his usual way, he said: "Chinmoy, you fool, you have brought neither his measurements nor his shorts. How am I going to make them?" Then he said to me: "All right, I shall come with you to his room."

I told him: "Nolini-da hesitated a little about asking you on such short notice."

"You fool! You work with Nolini-da. Don't you know that he is always an exception? Even if he asks me to do something at the eleventh hour, I shall do it gladly."

A book on the great men of the West

Nolini-da said: "Chinmoy, you have to do something today. I want to prepare a book on the great men of the West. The title will be Pashchatyer Kabi O Manishi. Make a collection of all my writings on these great men."

I said: "You do not want to have a book on the great men of the East also?"

"Well, if you want to, you can also do that. My article on Pascal has to be translated into Bengali. Whom do you suggest?"

"May I try it?"

"You? You don't write in Bengali. You have been translating my Bengali writings into English."

"I have already translated your book The Malady of the Century into Bengali."

"How is it, then, that you have not shown it to me?"

Quite apologetically I said: "It needs a little bit of revision."

Nolini said: "In that case, if you translate it I don't have to worry.

That afternoon I left on his table my Bengali translation of one of his English poems.

Published in A Service-Flame and a Service-Sun

Stories by Sri Chinmoy

Inner Meditation and Outer Vibration

There was an Indian spiritual Master living in America who gave utmost importance to his disciples’ meditation. He had asked twenty-five disciples who did the best meditation to meditate together once a week at different disciples' homes, The Master felt that the collective aspiration of the group would further increase the strength of each individual's meditation. Whenever he could, the Master visited these five special meditation groups, which met with their respective hosts or hostesses at four o'clock in the morning.

Now it happened once that the Master arrived back earlier than had been scheduled from a month's lecture tour. The next morning he paid surprise visits to these meditation groups. At the first home he was sad to see that the host had forgotten to buy candles, flowers and incense and that the shrine cloth was soiled and wriggled. Alas, at the other homes the Master was even more disappointed. Either there were dirty dishes piled in the kitchen, which was in most cases right next to the meditation room, or books and papers were strewn all over the meditation room itself. Two of the places looked as though they had not been cleaned for weeks. At the fifth house the Master would have had to use a side entrance to enter the meditation room, as the main hall was filled with bags of garbage and dirty laundry. Instead of going around the house to the side door, the Master went home. He telephoned the five hosts and hostesses and asked them to come to his house immediately.

The Master told them, "The aspiration of each disciple is necessary to make the meditation very high, very deep and sublime. But in addition to aspiration, the vibration of each place is also important. If the vibration is bad, then the aspiration of each individual disciple will have to fight against this vibration. It may be that the vibration is good but the aspiration of the disciples is not. That is a different story. Here we will assume that the disciples are coming with aspiration, although some come with almost no aspiration. But I wish to say that some of the places are not at all satisfactory. And it is the leader of the group that is totally responsible for the vibration of the room."

The five hosts were silent.

"What you do with your own meditation," continued the Master, "you know and God knows. Seekers come to your place only once a week: the rest of the time it is all yours. Now, I am not at all satisfied with your standard."

One disciple asked, "Is there anything else besides physical tidiness and cleanliness that can help the vibration, Master?"

The Master said, "Your daily activities in the meditation room create either a good vibration or a bad vibration. If it has a bad vibration, then your brothers and sisters have to fight against the bad vibration and half their energy will be lost in fighting. They need this energy to fight against their own ignorance so that they can bring down Peace and Light from above. You are all seekers, so you know what good vibrations are. At all your places I was sad and disappointed."

"Master, we are all very sorry for today," said one girl, "but our homes are not always like this."

"True" said the Master, "it is not that every time the vibration of a place is bad. It changes. Outwardly I have come to your places two or three other times as well and every day the vibration changes. Today your place is good; tomorrow the vibration changes. It is a great honour to have the disciples at your place, but if you cannot offer them a good vibration, then we shall have to change the locations.

"Dear ones, these are the simplest things to do. If you cannot do them, then how will you do the more difficult things in your inner life?"

The Master blessed the five disciples and said, "Next week we shall have another opportunity. Let us see what happens."

The Yogi’s Advice

Four hundred years ago in the heart of the Himalayas there lived a God-realised Yogi who did not accept any disciples. Once a year the Yogi would leave his hut early in the morning and climb down the mountain to a nearby village. There he would meditate under a tree for only one hour, starting at five o'clock in the morning and ending at six o'clock. At six o'clock he would open his eyes, chant Aum and, without saying a word, begin his journey back up the mountain. Seekers would come from hundreds of miles away to meditate with the Yogi for just that one hour,

This went on for thirteen years. In the thirteenth year, three seekers followed the Yogi after he finished his meditation. Although the Yogi did not acknowledge their presence, the seekers continued to follow him all the way up the mountain, hoping he would eventually speak to them. When the four reached the Yogi's hut, one boy bowed to him and said, "Master, I have been coming to meditate with you for the last five years. But now I must confess that each time I sat down to meditate with you, either I did not feel any inspiration or I felt very tired. Then before I knew it, the hour was over and I had to wait a whole year before I could meditate with you again. Master, I am so disheartened. Please tell me what I should do."

The Yogi blessed the seeker and said, "From now on, when the day comes that you are going to meditate with me, get up at three o'clock in the morning and take spiritual exercises to prepare yourself. Before one runs, one has to exercise and make himself limber. Otherwise, if he tries to run the fastest, he will pull a muscle and stumble. It is not possible to run the fastest if one has not stretched his limbs properly. In the spiritual life also, fifteen minutes or half an hour of preparation is necessary. Feel that when five o'clock dawns, that is when the race begins. You are not competing with others, but only with yourself. Five o'clock is your starting time, but before that you must take various spiritual exercises."

"What kinds of spiritual exercises should I take, Master?" asked the seeker.

"You can spend fifteen minutes to an hour reading spiritual books. You can chant or do japa, or you can learn a few songs. There are some songs which actually embody meditation. Even if you are not a singer, there will be no one nearby to laugh at you. There will be only you and the Supreme. Then, after you have prepared yourself at home, you can come to meditate with me. Otherwise you will come with all kinds of inertia. So please get up at three o'clock. Once a year you can easily do this."

The second seeker then said to the Yogi, "Master, I have also been coming to see you for several years. Sometimes I have good meditations, but usually after five-thirty I get the feeling that my meditation is over and I find that I stop meditating. I don't know what to do."

The Yogi said, "You should continue trying to meditate. But in silence you should also do these spiritual exercises that I have just mentioned." After saying this, the Yogi blessed this seeker.

The third seeker said, "Master, every year I also feel very sleepy during my meditation with you."

The Yogi blessed the third seeker and said, "After thirty or forty minutes of powerful meditation, if you find yourself feeling sleepy, then I wish to say that this is not sleep at all At that time your inner being is operating most powerfully over your physical, your vital and your mind. Mentally you may feel that you are not in this world: you may feel that you have to come back and be very dynamic. But this is not so. Your soul is operating most powerfully and you are mistaking the inner silence for sleep."

"But sometimes I feel that I have been sleeping almost for the entire meditation," said the boy.

"If you feel that you have been sleeping for half an hour, then naturally you are not meditating. If you really are falling asleep, try repeating 'Supreme' as fast possible. Then you will feel the power inside His name and your whole body, your whole being, will be inundated with divine energy."

"Why does one have to chant so fast, Master?"

"If you go on repeating 'Supreme' very slowly, in five minutes you will fall asleep. But this way, if you repeat 'Supreme' as fast as possible, you are bound to feel a new flow of energy. The utterance of the Supreme's name is entering into you as energy.

"But Master," said the seeker, "what will others think of me if I do this?"

"If you do this while you are meditating with others, it may seem as odd as shaking your arms or stretching your legs to keep awake. So please repeat 'Supreme' in silence; you are bound to become very dynamic.

"Master," said the first seeker, "you have shed abundant light on all our problems, We are sure that next time we meditate with you, we will be able to receive infinitely more of what you are offering to us. You have our eternal gratitude."

Then the three seekers returned to their village with the Yogi's blessing and the Yogi began a new year of silent communion with God.

With Hope-Food I Exist

There was once an Indian spiritual Master living in America who had great concern for every aspect of his disciples' spiritual lives. He always stressed the importance of individual morning meditation for those following his path. One very cold winter, however, the Master decided that his disciples could also benefit considerably from meditating with each other in the morning. So he formed seven meditation groups which were to meet at disciples' homes every morning at six o'clock. This group meditation was to go on for one month and it would take the place of the seekers' normal individual meditation.

Each morning the Master would surprise a different group of disciples by joining them in their meditation. As the month went by, the pressure of the Master's work unfortunately did not allow him to visit these groups anymore. On the last day of the month, however, the Master went to meditate with all the groups, walking from door to door, even though it was snowing very hard. But because of the bad weather, very few disciples had gone to meditate that day. The Master was very sad. When he returned home, he telephoned each one of his disciples and told them to come to his house immediately.

When they were all seated in his meditation room, the Master said, "These morning meditations are a golden opportunity for you. But most of you, if not all, are not taking them seriously. You are not availing yourselves of this opportunity every morning.

"Master," said one of the group leaders, "I am sad to say that on many other mornings as well, even when the weather was clear, you would have been disappointed by the attendance."

"I would like to continue these group meetings for another month," said the Master. "Right from tomorrow, you can be absent from your group only if you are extremely ill or out of town. If you cannot come to morning meditation for either of these reasons, please make it a point to inform the person at whose house the meditation is being held. No other reasons will be accepted. If someone says, 'I went to bed too late,' that kind of reason will not be accepted. But it depends on your sincerity. If somebody is not sick but tells the leader of the group that he is very sick, then God has to take care of that person."

"Master," said another group leader, "do you want to know who is not coming and why? Usually they do not inform us."

"Yes, I would like to know. Please keep attendance. I will ask you to tell the members of your group not to come anymore if they do not inform you when they are sick or out of town. If there are unavoidable circumstances, then what can you do? The soul can be there, although the body cannot."

"But Master," a third group leader said, "some people never come."

The Master said, "If a person is not coming regularly and if he cannot give an adequate reason, then I will tell you to inform him not to come."

"Master," the fourth group leader asked, "why are you becoming so strict with us?"

"If I tell you that you cannot come," explained the Master, "then you will really value the morning meditation. If you don't value your meditation, then nobody else is going to value it, not even God."

The fifth group leader said, "What about those who do come? Don't they at least give proper value to these meditations?"

"Do you think so?" asked the Master, "Today the highest mark I could give any group for its meditation was sixty-five out of one hundred. And what will be the lowest? In India the passing mark is thirty-three, but in America your passing mark is sixty-five."

"In America," said another group leader, "if everyone fails, then sometimes they lower the passing mark."

"All right," said the Master, "how much do you feel you got? Enter into the heart. For two minutes if you remain in the heart, then you will feel that I am right."

All the disciples became silent for a few moments. Then the Master gave marks for each group. Two groups tied for having the worst meditation; they got eleven percent. The next lowest mark was seventeen; fourth was twenty-three; fifth, twenty-nine; sixth, thirty-seven and seventh, sixty-five.

"Even sixty-five is most deplorable," said the Master. "For me, it is not a passing mark; it is a real failure. And I am really impartial when I give grades. Feel that you have the capacity to get ninety-nine, but you are not using it. I want each group to get at least eighty from me. Since you are taking the trouble to get up early to come and meditate I am extremely pleased. But I wish to say that everyone's meditation can be much, much better."

"How can we do that kind of meditation?" asked one girl.

"It all depends on the eagerness and sincerity of each individual," replied the Master. "It is not that the members of the group that got sixty-five are better than the members of other groups. No! Each one has come to offer his meditation to the Supreme according to his own capacity and each individual is responsible for maintaining his own standard. So if you are getting the lowest mark, don't blame the other members of your group; blame yourself. We are starting with eleven; it is a real disaster in the spiritual world if you get eleven percent.

"What is the failing of each group?" asked another disciple.

"It is the aspiration of each individual. If you go deep within for half an hour, then you will see what you must do and what you must not do. But one thing I can say. Some of you do not even take a bath before you come and this is most deplorable. This basic discipline you should have learned a long time ago. If you do not like it, I am sorry. But I cannot enter into your life and treat you like kindergarten students. You left kindergarten long ago."

"Master, what about our actual meditation once we come?" one boy asked.

"What happens," said the Master, "is that as soon as you get to the meeting, most of you feel that you have played your role. Just by coming you feel that you have done all that is necessary. But you have to feel that coming to the meditation room is only like coming to the starting point. Once you have come to your starting point, this is where the race begins. From here you have to run. You are not competing with anybody, but you are trying to run the fastest according to your own capacity.

"Also, do not sit on a chair unless you have problems sitting on the floor. Yoga and comfort do not go together. You will only enter into the world of sleep."

The Master paused. "I am eager to give you one hundred out of one hundred. The day I can give each group this mark, I will be the happiest person. But how am I going to do it? I don't think in this incarnation I will ever be able to do it."

One disciple said, "Master, we are grateful that you are giving us another chance."

"Yes," the Master said, as he stood up to close the meeting, "I have hope. Hope-food I am eating every day. With this hope-food I exist. Let us see if my disciples will really please me.'

Published in Is God Really Partial?

The Unreal Heights of Real Absurdities

Sri Chinmoy invites his disciples to ask him “cute, silly, funny, very short, very simple questions on God,”
while returning by bus from a trip to Ellicottville, New York

Question: Does God ever wear a tie?

Sri Chinmoy: God wears ties at every moment, from His birthless Silence to His deathless Sound. From the beginning of His creation and throughout the ever-continuing creation, He has always worn ties. When a human being wears a tie, it is for a few hours. Then he changes his tie or he takes it off. But in God’s case, He has been wearing His ties since the creation of humanity. Birthless and deathless ties of oneness He has been wearing all throughout His creation, and He will continue to wear these ties of oneness eternally.

Question: Does God have false teeth?

Sri Chinmoy: Yes, God has both false teeth and real teeth. When He devours ignorance, He uses His false teeth. Why? Because ignorance itself is false. But when He eats Light, He uses His real teeth, for Light is eternally real.

Question: What does God do in His spare time?

Sri Chinmoy: Poor God has no spare time. He keeps Himself always busy. He feels that change of activity is the best kind of relaxation.

Question: Why does God tease me?

Sri Chinmoy: God teases you for two reasons. The first reason is that God wants you to feel that He is your eternal Friend, your only Friend. Just because He is your eternal Friend, He does something which only a real friend would dare to do. Only a real friend can tease you.

God also teases you for another, very specific reason. Sometimes when God sees that you are consciously or unconsciously in an unpleasant, superior, haughty consciousness, He tries to bring you down to the normal human consciousness, so that you will act like a normal, natural, loving human being. He brings you down to the level of your brothers and sisters so that even unconsciously you do not have a superior or self-imposed feeling of isolation.

Question: What kind of clock does God use?

Sri Chinmoy: God has three special clocks. On earth He uses His Compassion-Clock, in Heaven He uses His Illumination-Clock and for Himself He uses His Perfection-Clock.

Question: How does God wake up in the morning?

Sri Chinmoy: First of all, unlike mortals, God does not believe in sleeping every night. But, on rare nights, God does take rest or go to sleep. Then, early in the morning when He gets up, He gets up with a universal headache or a universal stomach upset, or with a universal Hope or a universal Inspiration.

Question: What colour are God's Eyes?

Sri Chinmoy: God’s Eyes have no colour of their own. It is the individual who sees the colour in God’s Eyes according to his or her own aspiration-height. If the seeker is very aspiring, then that seeker will see God’s Eyes as blue. If the seeker is very pure, then he will see God’s Eyes as white. If the seeker is extremely energetic and dynamic, then that individual will see God’s Eyes as green. If the individual has tremendous willpower and fiery determination to reach the Goal, then that particular seeker will see God’s Eyes as either red or brown. Or if God Himself is fighting against the teeming ignorance of the seeker so that the seeker can realise Him infinitely sooner than otherwise, then the seeker will see God’s Eyes as red or brown. Red and brown have a powerful, dynamic quality.

Question: Does God like cities?

Sri Chinmoy: Yes, God likes cities because the cities add to His dynamic movement, dynamic life. He also likes villages, because the villages add to His static relaxation. Both relaxation and dynamic movement are of great importance. Together they make God complete. So when God wants to enjoy dynamic movement, He lives in the cities; when He wants to enjoy static relaxation, He lives in the villages.

Question: Why does God sometimes seem so serious?

Sri Chinmoy: Seriousness is also an aspect of God. If God always remains childish or frivolous, or if God does something in a relaxed, funny manner, then His children may do that very thing in a destructive way. That is to say, if God cuts a joke which is not at all a hurtful joke, then just because God has cut a joke, His children may cut jokes which will be most hurtful and painful. So God has to show His other aspect. After all, His universal Breadth, transcendental Height and eternal Depth are all serious matters.

Question: What does God do when He starts to gain extra weight?

Sri Chinmoy: God does not gain extra weight because He feels that if He does so, then He will add to the ignorance-force around Him. Just because He is all-wise, He does not want the force of ignorance to be more powerful and more uncontrollable.

Question: Why does God like ice cream so much, both for Himself and for His children?

Sri Chinmoy: If God really likes ice cream for Himself and His children, there must be some reason. The reason is that God wants His children to be eternally sweet. And He Himself eats ice cream because He Himself wants to be sweet to His children. Both Father and children alike must sweeten their existence. It is in sweetness that eternal harmony can eternally last.

Question: Which does God like better: a tropical or a cold climate?

Sri Chinmoy: It is not the climate as such that God likes, but how people who live in a particular climate invite Him and welcome Him. If people who live in a cold climate invite God or feel the necessity of God more than those who live in a tropical climate, then God will definitely prefer to stay in the cold climate.

Those who live in a particular climate are like the inhabitants of a house. The house may not be beautiful, but if the inhabitants invite you and welcome you, then you will definitely go there. You do not go for the sake of the house, but for the sake of its inhabitants. A climate is like a house. If the person who dwells inside the house shows interest in you and cares for you, then you will definitely go there instead of going to another house where you are unwanted, even if the other house is more beautiful.

Question: Does God get tired from signing His initials on all His creations?

Sri Chinmoy: God is an endless Creator. But unlike human creators, God does not feel the necessity of attaching Himself to His creation. He feels that once He has created, His creation is earth’s possession and is for earth’s illumination. It is redundant and unnecessary for Him to sign His initials or His name to His creation, for, after all, He knows what He has done. As a matter of fact, nothing is created on earth without His approval or His direct or indirect help. Such being the case, He feels that He is responsible for anything that has been created on earth. Therefore, He feels it is unnecessary to sign His name, for who else can create but He Himself?

Question: Why does God love me?

Sri Chinmoy: God knows how to love Himself; therefore, He loves you and He loves everyone. Just because He loves Himself all the time, He can love you and He can love His entire creation.

Question (Sanatan's question): How many Sanatans did God create?

Sri Chinmoy: Originally God created countless, infinite Sanatans, but one Sanatan said to God, “Father, I don’t want to be with all my brothers and sisters. I want to be left all alone. I wish to enjoy my individuality and personality; so please let me be alone.” God said to this particular son, “Wonderful, My son, you go and enjoy your individuality and personality. But I tell you, there will come a time when you will become tired of your personality and individuality. At that time, you will beg Me to allow you to go back to your brothers and sisters to enjoy their concern instead of your individuality and personality. And I will let you do so.”

Question: God is a tree; how many leaves does He have?

Sri Chinmoy: True, God is a tree, but He does not waste His time in counting the leaves. He feels that the time He will spend in counting the leaves He should use to create more leaves. God does not believe in calculation and multiplication. He only believes in constant, conscious and spontaneous creation.

Question: Does God wear sneakers?

Sri Chinmoy: Yes, God does. He wears sneakers because He feels that He has to protect Himself from some of the emotional heat of earth. This heat is composed of anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, suspicion, jealousy, insecurity, and all other undivine qualities.

Question: Do you or your inner beings play jokes with us on the inner plane?

Sri Chinmoy: On the inner plane I don’t get much time to cut jokes with my disciples, for on the inner plane, my Boss, the Supreme, is much more strict with me than on the outer plane. But I do enjoy cutting jokes with my own inner beings, and even with my Beloved Supreme — innocent jokes, of course, not painful or destructive jokes.

If I see a particular god or goddess who is closely connected with a particular seeker, and if I see the inner beauty of that seeker is much less than the beauty of the god or goddess, then perhaps I will cut jokes with that particular god or goddess by saying, “You don’t take care of your devotees. How is it that you don’t make them as beautiful as you are?”

Then the god or goddess will immediately say to me, “Whose fault is it? You have a connection with both earth and Heaven. It is your duty to make everything clear to the seeker what will help him, what will increase his spirituality.”

I say, in my own justification, “I pray with them and meditate on them, and if they are receptive, then definitely they will get light from me, and they will always do the right thing to constantly increase their inner beauty.”

Question: Does God ever laugh at Himself?

Sri Chinmoy: God laughs at Himself when He sees that His perfect manifestation on earth is still a far cry. God smiles at Himself when He sees that His perfect manifestation on earth is always in the process of continuous growth.

Question: Did God ever have an overeating problem?

Sri Chinmoy: We eat and overeat. But in God’s case, there is no such thing as overfed or underfed or unfed. Whatever God does, He does according to His necessity, and His necessity is always supported by His capacity. His necessity and His capacity always go together. What He eats most is our ignorance-sea. Anything that He wants, no matter how large the quantity is, He eats; for He knows that He has boundless capacity. So, in His case, it is not a problem; it is a necessity. If He does not devour our ignorance, then our ignorance will devour us. But God does not suffer from overeating, for He is all capacity and all willingness.

Question: How did God realise God?

Sri Chinmoy: God realised Himself by playing His fondest game, which He calls hide-and-seek.

Published in The Unreal Heights of Real Absurdities

Everest-Aspiration Talks

by Sri Chinmoy

I Am Privileged

12:40 p.m.
Sri Chinmoy Centre,
Jamaica, New York

I am privileged that God has granted me a human incarnation. It is only in the human life that I can realise Him, reveal Him and manifest Him unreservedly and unconditionally.

I am privileged that ignorance-dream does not dare to intimidate me, because it sees God and God’s constant Protection around me.

I am privileged that my heart loves my Lord Supreme infinitely more than my mind can ever imagine.

I am privileged that my Lord Supreme Himself has asked me to offer Him a silent prayer and a soulful meditation early in the morning before I enter into the hustle and bustle of life. My silent prayer is this: “O Lord Supreme, do accept my surrender-life.” My soulful meditation is this: “O Lord Supreme, do enter into my gratitude-heart and remain seated there.”

I am privileged that my Lord Supreme discusses His Cosmic Plans with me in Heaven, and I am privileged that He has made me a faithful representative of His to execute His Will here on earth.

I am privileged that at every moment God loves me more than I deserve, He speaks to me more than I deserve, He gives me more than I deserve. In every way He does things for me, says things to me and dreams in and through me infinitely more than I shall ever deserve.

I am privileged that I fully and soulfully claim Him as my own, very own, my own Eternity’s own.

I Am Helpless

12:45 p.m.
Sri Chinmoy Centre,
Jamaica, New York

O Lord Supreme, I am helpless. You have given me the eyes to see and the heart to feel, but You have not given me the arms to do the needful, to change what I see and feel has to be changed.

You have Your sons and daughters. Your sons have made such friendship with impurity that I find it impossible to put an end to their friendship. Your daughters have made such friendship with insecurity that I find it impossible to put an end to their friendship. What is worse, Your sons not only unconsciously, but also consciously, even deliberately, throw their poison, their impurity, into the aspiring hearts and lives of Your daughters. Your daughters consciously and deliberately throw their insecurity-ant into Your sons’ lives. When impurity enters into Your daughters from Your sons, the limited purity of Your daughters disappears. When the insecurity of Your daughters enters into Your sons, Your sons’ limited courage disappears. This does not mean that women have no impurity; they do have impurity, but in comparison to men they have less. And men do have insecurity, but in comparison to women, they have less.

Your sons feel that aggression — physical, vital and mental — is man’s proper role. Your daughters feel that frustration — physical, vital and mental — is woman’s proper role. Man’s aggression destroys the mind before the mind is aware of aggression’s attack. Man’s aggression destroys man’s vital the moment it enters into the vital. Man’s body is destroyed the moment it hears the very name of aggression. Man’s heart is destroyed at the very sight of aggression. Yet Your sons like aggression, love aggression and have become inseparable friends with aggression.

Your daughters enjoy frustration more than anything else in their life. They are frustrated because their teeming desires are not fulfilled; they are frustrated because their desires are fulfilled. When their desires are not fulfilled, they feel that they are beggar-women. When their desires are fulfilled, they feel that God is giving something more important to other human beings, but because they have desired and asked for the wrong things, they are now in the frustration-world. They feel that they should have asked for something else; they should have made a correct choice. Or they should not have had any desire; then there would have been no frustration. Because they asked for the wrong thing, they feel miserable. Because they asked for anything at all, they feel equally miserable. Again, if they had not asked to have their desires fulfilled, they would have felt miserable. So frustration is their lot. When they have their desires fulfilled, they are frustrated. When they do not ask You to fulfil their desires, they are also frustrated.

Everything needs a place, either for its safety or just because everything has a supreme need for a place to rest, to have perfect shelter. Men find a safe place for their aggression inside women; women find a safe place, a resting place, for their frustration inside men. Man offers his aggression-injection to woman’s heart and woman offers her frustration-injection to man’s life.

My Lord Supreme, I am helpless because I see the impurity-flood and the cannon-shot of aggression of Your sons; and I am helpless because I see the insecurity-river and the frustration-panther of Your daughters. These discouraging, destructive and deplorable qualities, nay, capacities, of men and women are destroying Your sons and daughters right in front of my compassion-vision and my realisation-reality.

O Lord Supreme, if I ask You, request You, to give more capacity to the men and women so that they can overcome their shortcomings, You just tell me that You have already given them the necessary capacity to conquer these unaspiring, discouraging, destructive forces. You have already given them the capacity, O Lord Supreme, but do me a favour: give them more capacity, not because they deserve it, not because they themselves feel the need of it, but because I feel that I am unable to help them. I tried with them, I prayed for them, but I could not help them. At that time weakness was their conscious and unconscious strength. But there shall come a time when they will have no weakness whatsoever.

I was the inspirer, I was the server, I was the lover of this new vision that has the power in it to change the face of the world. Vision without power is no vision. What good is it to see when you cannot change? Again, if you don’t see what you have to change, what are you going to change? It is good to see, it is better to change, and it is best, after you have made the change, to prolong this change, this perfection, indefinitely and eternally.

My Lord Supreme, You have given me the vision to see Your creation as it is. But do go one step ahead and give me the capacity and power to change the face of the world and fulfil You in Your own Way.

My Lord Supreme, this is the way one aspect of me has observed Your creation. But the lover in me observes Your creation in a different way. Since You have created the world, since it is Your creation, I am a hundred per cent one with the weaknesses of Your sons and daughters, with my loving concern-heart, serving life-breath and illumining soul-beauty.

Get Up!

5:35 p.m.
Sri Chinmoy Centre,
Jamaica, New York

Get up, O my body, get up! Don’t sleep. You have slept for a long time. Don’t sleep any more. Are you not ashamed of your life? Don’t sleep. The goal is far, very far.

O my vital, stand up, stand up! You have been sitting for a long time. It is high time for you to stand up. Stand up! Are you not ashamed of your life? The goal is far, very far. Don’t sit any more. Stand up.

O my mind, run, run! You have been standing in one place for a long time. The goal is far, very far. You have to run towards the destination. Are you not ashamed of your life, standing in one place when you know perfectly well that the goal is a far cry? Run, run towards the destination! Don’t stand in one place. Run towards the destined goal.

O my heart, run the fastest! Are you not ashamed of your life? You are supposed to run the fastest, but you are running slowly, very slowly. The goal is still a far cry. Are you not ashamed of your life? Slowly you are running. Are you not ashamed of your speed? From now on, you have to run the fastest, O my heart. Then only will you be satisfied when you reach your goal. If you run slowly, it will take you millions of years. Also, while running slowly you may lose your enthusiasm one day and give up on your way to your destination. Therefore, run the fastest, O my heart, and reach the destination. See the face of your goal. Become one, inseparably one, with your goal.

O body of mine, O vital of mine, O mind of mine, O heart of mine, from now on feel that each moment you lose here on earth, each moment you neglect, means a year of delay, a year of frustration, a year of failure, has been added to your life. Therefore, get up, O my body; stand up, O my vital; run, O my mind; run the fastest, O my heart! Each second you can either build a new life of hope, promise, realisation and perfection or you can destroy what you have right now in a very small measure: aspiration. Do not destroy your aspiration; only build the edifice of your hope-light, promise-height, realisation-oneness and perfection-delight.

Don't Suffer!

5:45 p.m.
Sri Chinmoy Centre,
Jamaica, New York

Don’t suffer! O my body, O my vital, O my mind, O my heart, do not suffer. Do not cherish suffering. Don’t act like a fool. Don’t think that your suffering is going to accelerate your spiritual progress. Don’t think that your suffering will bring God closer to you sooner than at once. Don’t think that your suffering is the only way, the sure way, for you to make progress. Never!

Look at the plus and minus factors of your suffering. The plus factors: Your suffering adds to your fear, your uncontrollable fear. Your suffering adds to your disproportionate rebellious attitude in the long run. Your suffering adds to your poisonous frustration. Your suffering adds to your slow and steady destruction. The minus factors: O body, vital, mind and heart of mine, your suffering takes away all that your Beloved Lord Supreme has granted you. Out of His infinite Bounty He has given you joy, He has given you His Concern, He has given you His Compassion, He has given you His Oneness. But you cherished and treasured suffering; therefore, all His gifts have been stolen. By whom? By your own suffering. So suffering is not the way. It takes away from you all the precious gifts that God has given you. One by one the suffering-thief robs you of the most precious, most coveted gifts that God has given you: His own Peace, His own Love, His own Bliss, His own Concern, His own Oneness.

From now on, try to catch the suffering-thief red-handed and bring the thief to your Beloved Supreme. Once the thief is caught, once you have offered the thief to the right person, once the right person, the Beloved Supreme, knows that you do not want to be robbed by anyone either in your inner family or in your outer family, once He knows that you do not want to be robbed either by the members of your own inner existence or by the members of the outer world, at that time your Beloved Supreme grants you once again, out of His infinite Bounty, His Concern, His Love, His Joy, His Oneness, His Compassion and His Pride in boundless measure.

So, O seeker, in body, vital, mind and heart, do not cherish suffering even for a fleeting second. Suffering is not the answer; suffering is only a question mark which will never be satisfied with any answer we give. Suffering is the question mark that defies all answers. Even if God answers the question, even then the mind will not accept the answer as the correct one.

Suffering is not the right way. From now on, only grow in joy and self-confidence. This self-confidence comes from your surrendered oneness-will with your Beloved Supreme. You want confidence and you will get confidence the moment your surrendered oneness with the Will of the Supreme is perfect. Before that, there is no confidence; there can be no confidence in you or in anything else.

So, O seeker, with your body, vital, mind and heart, accept the divine gifts; cherish them, treasure them, increase them. How will you increase them? Through conscious self-giving with utmost gratitude to your Beloved Supreme. If you can smile soulfully, all the divine gifts that you have got from the Supreme are bound to increase. If you can sing in silence soulfully, all the divine gifts that you have already received from the Supreme are bound to increase. If you can dance devotedly and soulfully inside your gratitude-heart, then all the divine gifts that you have received so far are bound to increase. Something more: you will not only get blessingful gifts, fruitful gifts from Him, but you will also get the Creator and the Possessor of the gifts, the Supreme Himself. He who created the gifts for you, He who possessed the gifts for you, will be more than ready and eager to be possessed by you. He wants you to claim His possessions as your own, very own. Then, once you have claimed His possessions as your own, He will come and stand in front of you and say, “My child, you have accepted My gifts, which are My creations. I am so pleased with you. Now accept Me. I am all yours.” So claim all the divine gifts that you have been offered by the Supreme. Claim them individually and collectively as your own, very own. Then the real owner of the gifts will come to you and offer Himself to you to be claimed by you constantly and eternally.

Disciples, Followers, Admirers and Well-wishers

8:40 p.m.
Martin Van Buren High School,
Hollis, New York

“My Lord Supreme, do tell me the difference between a disciple and a follower.”

“My son, the difference is this: a disciple is he who constantly thinks only of his Master’s need. He feels that his very existence on earth is for his Master alone, only for his Master. When the Master asks him to do something for him, he says, ‘Master, I have already done it.’ As a matter of fact, he has done it, for intuitively he has felt the Master’s need long before the Master has asked him on the outer plane to do something for him.

“A follower is he who wants to do what the Master asks him to do, but he will tell his Master, ‘O Master, I will do it, but please give me some time. You have asked me to do something, so definitely I will do it, but what you have asked is not an easy task; therefore, I may take some time. But I assure you, I shall do it. Have faith in me. I shall not disappoint you, not to speak of deserting you. If I do it immediately, I may not succeed, so give me some time. I shall do it without fail.’”

“My Lord Supreme, please tell me the difference between an admirer and a well-wisher.”

“My son, here is the difference: an admirer is he who admires the Master at a distance. He does not want to be involved with the Master’s practical needs. He does not want to be close to the Master or near the Master, for he thinks that his nearness will be exploited by the Master, or he thinks that if he remains near the Master he will see the Master’s shortcomings and lessen his admiration for his Master. He will admire from a distance, but he will not approach the Master, for the Master may ask him for a favour which he may not be in a position or have the willingness to fulfil. Again, he is afraid that if the Master behaves in a human way, then the little admiration for the Master that he does have may not last. So he is afraid of his own life, of his own security, of his own standard, of his own realisation. He does not want to associate with the Master closely, for he feels that the Master in his dream-world is one thing, whereas the Master in the reality-world will be a different thing.

“A well-wisher is he who knows about a spiritual figure and entertains a good opinion of him. He reads about the Master in the newspaper, or sees him on television or hears about him on the radio, and he thinks that the Master is a good person. But the Master, the spiritual figure, never expects anything from a well-wisher; therefore, he and the well-wisher remain at a distance.”

“My Lord Supreme, do tell me something more about them.”

“My son, when the Master sails his boat towards the Golden Shore, the disciple remains in the boat, fully one with the Master’s will. He looks at the Master’s movements and observes how he is piloting the boat, and all the time he is praying for the Master’s inner and outer success and victory. He is all eagerness to see the Master’s victory. He sleeplessly observes the Master’s way of piloting the boat, and is all the time learning from the Master how the Master pilots the boat.

“The follower sits in the boat. He feels that just because he has told the Master that he is following his path, he has given his fee, so he can remain safe. His promise itself is the fee; therefore, it is the Master’s bounden duty to take him to the Golden Shore. Since he has bought the ticket, since he has got a seat inside the boat, he feels that he does not have to watch; the boat will bring him to his destination. On his own he does not have to remain awake; he does not have to be of any help or service — inner or outer. He can remain asleep, he can enjoy himself, but it is the Master’s bounden duty to do the needful, because he has accepted the disciple.

“An admirer is he who comes right up to the boat but is afraid to enter. He is afraid that if he takes the journey, some water animals may capsize the boat or some doubt-hurricane may blow him out of the boat or destroy the boat. He is afraid that he will not be able to survive the journey.

“The admirer watches the journey from the shore. He watches the Master and the disciples and followers in the boat. The Master is navigating from this shore to another shore. The admirer sees and admires, but he is afraid. He thinks that the boat will capsize, so he does not enter into the boat.

“A well-wisher does not even come to see the boat take off on its journey. He hears from others, or reads in the newspaper, or hears on the radio or television that the Master has embarked on a journey to an unhorizoned land. If the Master succeeds, well and good. If he fails, who cares? A well-wisher is nothing in the outer world but a fair-weather friend. If the Master succeeds, he will say, ‘Oh, I know him. He is so great, so good, so kind.’ If he fails, he will say, ‘Oh, I know him. He is useless; therefore, I did not want to follow his path.’ So this is the difference between a disciple, a follower, an admirer and a well-wisher.”

Reliance

8:53 p.m.
Martin Van Buren High School,
Hollis, New York

I rely on God’s Promise; I do not rely on my own feelings. I rely only on God’s Promise; I do not rely on my own assessment of myself. Quite often I feel an emptiness inside me. When I feel that I am empty, at that time I feel lonely, I feel miserable, I feel not only helpless and hopeless but also sure that I am going to destruction itself. When I think of myself, I see frustration within and without. Fear and jealousy, insecurity and doubt, disobedience and arrogance play in front of me an undivine game. The name of that game is ingratitude.

If I rely on their assessment of my life, if I rely on them, if I take them as my confidants, if I take them as true members of my family, then I am totally ruined. So I rely only on my God’s Promise that He will teach me how to swim across the ignorance-sea. My Lord’s Promise to me is so clear, vivid, illumining and fulfilling. He told me that I am destined to become a perfect instrument of His. He told me that I am destined to swim in the sea of Light and Delight and eventually teach others — my little brothers and sisters — how to swim in the sea of Light and Delight.

I do not rely on my physical height, on my material or earthly achievement-heights; they are misleading. I see that I am tall, but in comparison to whom? To children. I see clearly that I am so tall, but only when I stand in front of children. When a giant stands in front of me, I become a tiny little ant, a pigmy, in comparison to the giant’s height. So my earthly height is such that it does not give me abiding satisfaction. When I am with children, my height satisfies me because I am much taller than they are. But when I am with grown-ups, giants, I am not aware of my achievements. I can extol myself to the skies for my achievements and feel that I have achieved something great and sublime; but when I look around, I see right in front of my nose that there is someone who has far surpassed me in that very field. So if I rely on my achievements to give me strength, security, confidence and assurance, I am misled and misguided. But when I think of my Lord’s Height in me, when I try to see and feel it, I see that He has not only the tallest Height but also the ever-transcending Height. Here on the physical plane I can reach a certain height and then it is over. On the physical plane, material plane, I attain something; then it comes to an end. But on the inner plane, when I think of my Lord Supreme, everything that He has and everything that He is, is not only measureless, but also ever-transcending. Here in the outer world my height always has a limit, but there in the inner world my Lord’s Height, my Lord’s Achievements, are all unlimited.

What is my Lord’s Promise to me? His Promise to me is that what He has and what He is, is all for me: His Height, His inner Height, His real Height, His real Achievements, are all for me. This is His Promise. So I rely on His Promise and do not rely on my own little capacities and achievements. My own little capacities do not satisfy me. Even if one satisfies me for a second, I see tremendous weakness in that capacity, for there is always somebody else who is endowed with infinitely more of that capacity than I have.

Reliance means satisfaction. When I rely on myself I cannot have total satisfaction. But when I rely on my Lord Supreme, when I rely on His Promise, it is simple. He will make me, like Himself, another God, with Infinity, Eternity and Immortality at my constant disposal. In me He sees the perfect prototype of His own Reality. His Promise is to make of me another Reality exactly like His own, so that He can play with me, sing with me and dance with me throughout Eternity.

When He promises to make me into an exact image of His own Reality, this does not mean that inseparable oneness is lacking. No, inseparable oneness is there, but the One projects Himself into two so that He can enjoy the Cosmic Game. In the outer plane, the human mind will see separativity in spite of inseparable oneness in the inner world. But the heart will feel that the One has divided Himself into two to taste the cosmic Delight. When oneness is divided into two halves, each half brings in newness; each half offers constant newness, ever-illumining, ever-fulfilling newness to the other.

So I shall rely only on my Lord’s Promise, and not on what I have and what I am. I do not trust, I cannot trust myself for I do not trust the members of my inner family: the body, vital, mind and heart. They have deceived me and I have deceived them. But my Lord Supreme has never deceived me and I have never deceived Him. Therefore, I rely on Him only, and He relies on me. I do not rely on the members of my earthly-existence-family; neither will I allow them to rely on me. My reality, my confidence, my assurance, my very existence is founded upon my reliance on my Beloved Supreme alone.

Published in Everest-Aspiration, part 2

Eagerness

by Sri Chinmoy

Eagerness is the purity of my life's tears.  
Eagerness is the beauty of my heart's smiles.  
Eagerness is my closeness to God the creation.  
Eagerness is my oneness with God the Creator.

My eagerness is my glorious privilege  
To see one step ahead, unlike others.  
My eagerness does not expect surprises,  
For my Captain has fully convinced me  
That He not only knows the Way  
But also has already planned everything for me.

From my Captain my eagerness has learned  
To see every second as the birth of a new day,  
And in it the complete life of a new year  
To please Him in His own Way.

My Captain says to me,  
“My child, because of your life’s eagerness  
I am giving you My Eternity’s Life.  
My child, because of your heart’s eagerness  
I am giving you My Infinity’s Heart.  
My child, you are your  
Aspiration-spontaneity-eagerness,  
And I am My  
Satisfaction-Immortality-Fondness."  

Published in Captain, My Captain