Talks by Sri Chinmoy
at Aspiration-Ground Jamaica, New York
I challenge myself! If I have done something, I want to go beyond it, so I go beyond. That gives me tremendous joy, tremendous joy. When I lift weights or do anything else, quite a few times I make very, very fast progress. According to my capacity, it is almost astonishing progress.
Again, at times it takes me months to make a little progress. When it takes a long time, I get more joy than when I do it very fast. When I make rapid progress, I do not get that much joy. But when it takes a very long time for me to succeed, even two or three months, I get more joy.
We all have desires. When I came to America, I had the desire, out of the blue, to write two hundred books. Then God said, "You fool! Why is your hunger so limited?"
God makes the decision for me in everything. This is called spirituality. Before sincere spirituality starts, we say, "I will do this, I will do that." But once we enter into the field of spirituality, at that time our sincerity comes to the fore. When sincerity comes to the fore, we surrender. We say, "God, if you want me to write hundreds of books, or only two books, I am more than happy."
In human life there is always a tug-of-war between desire and aspiration. We start with desire. Then, when we enter into aspiration, God gives us the fruits of our aspiration. He may even tease us. He said to me, "You wanted to be satisfied with only two hundred books! If you are going to pray to Me, if you are going to please Me in My own Way, then even the desire-life which you had once upon a time, in a very spiritual way I shall fulfil."
God will fulfil our desires, but in His own Way. When we surrender to His Will through our prayers and meditations, we say, "I do not need the fulfilment of my desires. I only want to please You in Your own Way. Only give me the capacity to please You in Your own Way." Then we see that He enters into our desire-world, which we want to bury in oblivion, and from that mud, clay and sand, He tries to bring out a diamond. That is why I say that, if we enter into the spiritual life, we do not lose any capacity.
If God gives us the divine capacity, then we go on, go on making progress. Even in our human capacity, which is so limited, God creates miracles. We start with desire-life. Then we come to learn that desire-life is nothing but hurdles and obstructions. But when we enter into the spiritual life, everything is unlimited, unlimited, unlimited.
We may get a Master’s degree or a Ph.D., or by some other means we may amass world-knowledge and information. Then sometimes we see that God in a very clever way takes us back to our childhood. At that time the little books that we read in our childhood again give us tremendous joy.
The books that I studied in class four and class five I have now bought once again. Whenever I go to Calcutta, I buy those books. I have fifty or sixty of those little books. Little children are still studying them. By now, I have read many, many thousands of books, but I get so much joy from those little books which I studied sixty years ago — perhaps much more joy than I get from the complicated books that I have read.
Your dear one is now far away, in a dangerous place. Try to feel that definitely he will come home safe. Only offer him your good thoughts. He is always inside your heart, twenty-four hours a day, but you have to be conscious of it. God is inside our heart: everybody knows that philosophy. But how often are we conscious of God's Presence inside us?
You will be having a serious medical treatment. While you are having the treatment, even if it is painful, try to send your good wishes, love and concern to your dear one. At the very moment when you are receiving an injection, let us say, if you can think of your dearest one, no matter where he is, then the pain becomes sweet. Pain itself becomes so sweet when we think of our dearest ones, whether they are near or far. I always say that when we are in pain, at that very moment if we can think of our dear ones, then it becomes all sweetness, sweetness.
I wanted to please God in my Sri Aurobindo Ashram life, and even in my Chittagong life. Still I want to please God in His own Way, but as my consciousness is evolving and evolving and evolving, my outer life also is progressing.
Not only the inner life progresses. In our inner life we pray and meditate. But while we are paying all attention to the inner life, the outer life also is being fed. It is not starving!
During one of our Christmas Trips I completed twenty-seven thousand poems. That evening I became the happiest person! I thought, "I am not going to write any more poems." I heaved a sigh of relief. But then, my Inner Pilot, whom I call the Supreme, stood in front of me and said, "Seventy-seven thousand!" This was not my promise to the world; the Supreme Himself compelled me to embark on seventy-seven thousand poems after I had completed twenty-seven thousand. I am always at His Behest. I may say that something is over, but then He says, "It is not over!" He does not believe in retirement.
I tell my disciples that retirement is the worst possible thing. Never retire! Has God retired? He created everything. This is His world; this is His universe. Since the Creator has not retired, how can we retire? We cannot retire. We must go on, go on.
Age is descending upon me. As I advance in age, I make progress. There was a time when I could not lift four hundred pounds, but now I can do it. If we live in the heart, it is possible.
When I see somebody very heavy whom I am going to lift, before I get frightened, my heart comes to the rescue. Before fear can enter into me, I immediately take that person inside my heart. Then I do not feel any heaviness.
Published in My Golden Children
Experiences in Japan
Stories told by Sri Chinmoy
at Aspiration-Ground in Jamaica, New York, about his recent trip to Japan, where he had composed his 13,000th Bengali song, ‘Shakpura’
I always say I enjoy my cock-and-bull stories, but I hope my disciples take me seriously even when I call them cock-and-bull stories. They are one hundred per cent true! Since they are so juicy, they are hard to believe. But I do hope by this time my real disciples know that these cock-and-bull stories are one hundred per cent true.
Three days ago in Japan, at around four-thirty in the morning, some very, very powerful waves were dashing against the shore near my room. I was sitting near the window closest to the ocean, enjoying the waves, and I was painting with a small brush that some disciples had given me. All of sudden, on the inner plane, I saw a disciple’s father. This gentleman is very, very dear to me. In the inner world he passed through the window, which was only a foot away from me, and came into the room and sat down. As usual, his job was to massage my feet with such affection, love, concern and joy. I was painting and he was massaging my feet.
I did quite a few nice paintings, and then I asked him, “Do you like my paintings?”
He said, “Of course! I like them very much.”
I said, “Then please choose one.” He chose a very nice painting. You will see it soon.
Later, I saw that disciple. I said, “Look! This painting was chosen by your father in the inner world.”
The disciple said, “O my God, this is his style! This is the kind of painting he used to like.”
Then I dedicated that painting to him. I wrote, “With my heart’s infinite love and gratitude.”
He became my disciple a day and a half after he left the body. Many, many times in the inner world he has massaged my feet, and he gets tremendous joy.
Here is another incident. Previously the Lord Buddha used to tell me that statues of me would be seen in two hundred or three hundred years. This time, at Kamakura, he said it would happen in one hundred years, believe it or not. When I was meditating on him and offering him my love and gratitude, he said it would take only one hundred years. Like the statues of the Lord Buddha, my statues will be found in many, many parts of the world.
Now, another story — only in Japan can this kind of thing take place! I call all my vehicles “chariots.” I gave the job to a Japanese gentleman, the husband of a disciple, to negotiate on my behalf for a very cute chariot. They said the price was $3,100. Without bargaining I do not get satisfaction, so I offered $2,800. A disciple kindly said to me, “No, no, Guru — please, please buy it! You do not have to bargain with these people! If you yourself do not want to spend that amount, I have money.”
I offered $2,800 to the man in the store. Then he and my representative talked and talked and talked. I said to myself, “My God, it is taking so much time!” The gentleman said to his wife, “I know what to say — I know how to deal with it!”
I wanted to pay $2,800. But if he could not lower the price, I was all ready to give him $3,100. My representative came back to say that the salesman said he wanted to take from me only $2,650! It was unimaginable! The price was $3,100, and I offered $2,800, but he wanted to take only $2,650. Where else will this kind of thing happen? He made the price lower than my quote!
This gentleman who bargained for me, as soon as he saw me, behaved like a five-year-old boy. He was full of enthusiasm, love and affection. Then I requested him to sit right in front of me. He sat about two feet away from me and I started meditating. Right beside him I saw a little boy, five years old. While I was meditating on him, I saw the little boy, very nice and very cute, intensely looking at me. After a minute or two, that little boy grew up by about thirty years. Then, what did he do? He put on the instrument that doctors use to examine the chest and lungs, a stethoscope. Immediately I knew that he had been a doctor in his previous incarnation.
Inwardly I said, “What is your name?”
He said, “My name is Bikash Banerjee.”
“Oh,” I said, “you are a doctor, a doctor!”
He had been a doctor in his previous incarnation. But first he appeared at the age of five or six, as a very cute little boy. While I was continuing to meditate with him, he grew up and became mature.
Now he has written me a ten-page letter in Japanese, and his wife is translating it for me. And he signed the letter “Bikash” — he did not use his Japanese name!
He gave me his card. I said to him, “I am sorry, I do not have a card. You are a very important person, so you have a card, but in my case I do not have a card.”
Then he started saying that he would do anything for me.
I said, “Are you sure?”
He said, “Yes, anything!”
Then I said, “Are you absolutely sure? Then I wish you to give me the entire island of Japan, with all of its beauty and all of its fragrance.”
Immediately he said, “I will do that for you!”
So much he received from me in just a few hours. Receptivity! He has shown what receptivity is.
The Nepalese Ambassador to Japan came to one of our functions. I knew him previously when he was an attache. Even when he was an attache, I started calling him “Ambassador.” Now he is a full-fledged Ambassador. He shows his love and respect plus his own dignity, since he is an Ambassador. But I treat him in a different way, as a young man. He shows me respect, but at the same time he shows that he is an Ambassador.
I requested Agraha to read out the letter that I had received from the present Prime Minister of Nepal. He has been Prime Minister six times. Such compliments he gave me! Nepal has accepted me wholeheartedly — wholeheartedly.
Today the Ambassador’s wife came to the airport to see us. She came up to me and said, “Please, please forgive me!”
I said, “What have you done? Forgiveness is not needed!”
“No, I have done many, many things!”
I said, “You have done many things wrong? Then pray to the Lord Buddha, not to me! Pray to the Lord Buddha. The Lord Buddha will forgive you, definitely.”
[A disciple mentioned that the Ambassador of Nepal had compared Sri Chinmoy’s peace-bird drawings to the doves that had traditionally carried messages of peace between kings.]
Sri Chinmoy: In those days they did send birds from one king to another. It is true. With the dove they sent the message of peace, so that there would be no war.
In my case, I am carrying the messages of peace of spiritual Masters, Avatars and yogis. This Ambassador had the correct intuition.
Three or four times in Japan I saw Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. One time while I was singing, the Mother showed me where she had stood with Tagore and others in front of the statue of the Lord Buddha. At one point the Mother was fanning me with a little Japanese fan. Sri Aurobindo was very, very serious, watching me while I was singing Janani Mirar, my song dedicated to the Mother, and my Sri Aurobindo song. At various places they were looking at me with such compassion and joy. I cannot forget my experiences of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo in Japan.
At one point when I was looking at the statue of the Lord Buddha, I did not see the Lord Buddha — I saw Lord Shiva, only Lord Shiva. I was looking at the figure of the Lord Buddha, but I was seeing Lord Shiva.
We have been to many shrines, many spiritual places in many countries, but this Kamakura statue of the Lord Buddha will always remain by far the most significant shrine.
On alternate days, Mr. Ramamoorthy got the inspiration to bless me with Indian food. The last day he went to a particular restaurant. At that place, either the cook or the server came not only from Chittagong, but from Shakpura! It was unbelievable!
I am ending with a last “cock-and-bull” story. If you do not believe that I am telling the truth, I do not lose anything.
My father comes to see me once in a blue moon. My father comes only if there is something very serious and very important to deal with. For my mother to visit is everyday business — sometimes she comes more than once in a day.
On this occasion, when I completed my 13,000th Bengali song, my father came first from our family. My father blessed me with his palm. Then he said to me in Bengali, “They say that history repeats itself, Madal. But your 13,000 Bengali songs will not be repeated by anybody.” That was my father’s affectionate comment, that nobody else would write 13,000 songs.
Then my mother blessed me. So many souls came, with flowers, heavenly flowers, to bless me and to congratulate me! They all came one by one. Among my sisters, Ahana was first. The second was Lily. Then came Arpita, third. How happy and how proud she was at my achievement! All of them were extremely happy and proud.
My mentor, Bhumananda, and others are so happy in Heaven! They say that this achievement is something that is going to last, not only in earth-history, but also in Heaven-history. They were all extolling me to the skies.
My brother Mantu also came, then Chitta and Hriday came. With such joy Hriday came, absolutely full of affection, appreciating my achievement. Chitta said to me, “Today you are the happiest, and I am the proudest! I taught you how to write poems. Today I am the proudest person and you are the happiest person.”
My observation is that undoubtedly I have achieved quite a few striking things in different fields, but I became the happiest person when I completed 13,000 Bengali songs on the Japanese train. And my mind became lighter than the lightest! What a heavy burden was gone from my mind when I reached my goal! My mind became the lightest and my heart became the happiest. Again, my brother Chitta became the proudest.
My family members watch, they watch. It will be difficult for you to believe. My father died so many years ago. My dear ones wait — they wait and they watch. Nobody in my family will take birth until I have arrived in Heaven. Then they may take incarnation.
Spiritual people can stay in Heaven for some time. Usually, for ordinary people, six years is the limit. But if some individuals accept spiritual life in all sincerity, they can stay for twenty, thirty or forty years in Heaven. For ordinary people, six years is the maximum, although sometimes exceptions are made. Then they have to come down. But if they are spiritual, and specially if a spiritual Master is involved, then they can stay longer. Again, real spiritual Masters can stay in Heaven for hundreds of years.
The Saviour Jesus Christ has not come back. Sri Ramakrishna has not come hack. The Lord Buddha immediately entered into Nirvana; he did not come back. No! Sri Ramachandra, Sri Krishna and many other spiritual Masters have not taken human incarnation again. Sometimes they make promises. Sri Ramakrishna said that in his next incarnation he would take incarnation in Russia. He pointed to a place on the map, and it was Russia. But he has not come. He is not in Russia; he is in Heaven.
Swami Vivekananda said that if one dog remained unrealised, he would come back to this world. Now, where is he? Is he on this earth-plane? No, no — he is in Heaven. When emotion runs riot, we say many things.
In my case, it is the other way around. I do not want to come back — I do not, I do not. The Supreme has sanctioned my prayer. I hope the Supreme keeps His Promise. This incarnation is my last, very last.
This was our trip to Japan. We had Mongolian disciples and we had disciples from the Czech Republic with us. That is very good! On the whole our trip was quite successful, quite successful. We were able to accomplish quite a few things to our great satisfaction.
I have been to so many countries around the world. I wish to say something about the Japanese disciples. How devoted, how simple, how sincere, how self-giving all the Japanese disciples are!
One doctor has joined our path in Japan. She has become very, very devoted. Definitely this doctor has brought about an improvement in my knees. After two hours of treatment, I could not believe it. I was a totally different person! I was able to walk. Usually I am dead against acupuncture because of its effect on the subtle nerves. In many places this doctor used the needles. I had no pain, no pain — no pain whatsoever!
My doctor Garima has a wonderful wish. She says that she will approach all the disciple-doctors, and every month one of them will be responsible to make arrangements for that Japanese doctor to come and treat me. Each time one doctor will be responsible.
When my Chinese doctor gave me injections for my pain, for three weeks the result was so good! Then I had to go back to him. He used to give me eight injections. They were so painful! I said to him, “Doctor — pain, pain!”
“No pain, no pain!” he said.
But with this Japanese doctor I had absolutely no pain. What a wonderful experience!
Published in The Path of My Inner Pilot