Everest-Aspiration Talks
by Sri Chinmoy
Why Do I Hide?
8:30 a.m.
Jamaica High School Track,
Jamaica, New York
“My Lord Supreme, why is it that at times I want to hide from You? Why is it that at times I desperately try to hide my thoughts from You? Why? Why? Is it because I am afraid of You? Or is it because I love You and I feel that it will hurt You if You know my uncomely and impure thoughts on the physical plane? On the inner plane I know I will never be able to deceive You. On the outer plane, because of my clever mind, I feel that in a human way I shall be able to deceive You, because perhaps You are not aware of all the intricacies of human life. Anyway, do tell me why I want to hide myself from You and hide my thoughts from You.”
“My child, to some extent it is true that you are afraid of Me. That is why you hide from Me. Again, to some extent it is true that you are afraid that it will hurt Me — that is to say, the human consciousness in Me — if I see that you are suffering from unhealthy thoughts. Being identified with you, I shall undoubtedly suffer. But the main reason is something else. You unconsciously, if not consciously, cherish the life of ignorance. You want to hide from Me because you know that although you are now consciously for the life of wisdom, still ignorance-life is dominating you and lording it over you. You cherish these thoughts because you feel that these are things that you can have, whereas divine thoughts, illumining thoughts, Heavenly thoughts, perhaps are all mental hallucinations. This is what you think: therefore, you unconsciously, if not consciously, cherish and treasure your undivine thoughts.
“But, My child, I wish to tell you that you must not be afraid of Me or feel that you will hurt Me. The divine in Me will never punish you. The divine in Me will never be hurt by your so-called shortcomings. You can get rid of these ignorant feelings, ideas and notions on the physical plane very easily. If you want to get rid of these forces, just think of Me as a wastepaper basket or a dustbin. On the physical plane, these are the two proper places for you to get rid of anything that is unwanted. If you want to get rid of these unhealthy thoughts on the spiritual plane, then soulfully and devotedly throw them into Me. Throw anything that you are suffering from into me. I am for your illumination, for your perfection, and I shall never remain satisfied unless I see your radical transformation.
“You have to feel that your shortcomings are My shortcomings. You are not afraid of yourself; you don’t try to hide from yourself, because you know that it is you. Similarly, if you can think of Me as your enlarged, expanded reality, if you can feel that your arms are lengthened, that everything you have is expanded, and that in this expanded and enlarged consciousness you and I are one, then you will see that the things that have to be transformed in you are also shortcomings in Me.
“So do not be afraid of Me or fear that you will hurt Me in a human way. Think of Me as a wastepaper basket. Feel that I am that very thing: your universal Life, your transcendental Life. Why should you be afraid of Me? We are one, eternally one, inseparably one. The lesser in us is being illumined with the light of the greater, the more illumined, more fulfilling, more perfect and more divine.”
I Am In Preparation
12:20 p.m.
John F Kennedy High School,
Bronx, New York
I am in preparation. I am in preparation for a new dawn, a new morning and a new day. I shall consciously and forcefully bury my past experiences — experiences of failure, experiences of frustration, experiences of unworthiness. I shall bury them. I shall obliterate from my memory-tablet all the uncomely experiences, the unillumining experiences, that I have had so far in my life. I am in preparation for an ever-new life.
I know why I have failed, why I have disappointed my Beloved Supreme. I have failed because I have neglected my second-life, I have wasted my minute-life, I have ignored my hour-life. From now on, in each second-life of mine I shall see a reality-existence of ten years. In each minute-life of mine I shall see a reality-existence of forty years, and in each hour-life I shall see a reality-existence of a hundred years, countless years. Each time I do not properly use my second-life, minute-life and hour-life, I shall make myself feel that I am far, farther, farthest from my destined Goal. And each time I properly utilise my second-life, minute-life and hour-life, I shall undoubtedly make myself feel that my hour of God-realisation is fast approaching. I shall not have to force myself to feel this; it will be something spontaneous and automatic. I shall no longer ply my boat between hope-evening and frustration-night. I shall ply my boat only between promise-light and satisfaction-delight.
Because of my bondage-life, because of my desire-life, because of my finite life, I have failed my Beloved Supreme, I have failed my reality-existence. And I shall continue to fail my Beloved Supreme and my reality-existence if I go on loving the finite in myself. But if I start loving only the Infinite in myself, then I shall not be compelled to see the face of frustration, the face of failure. I shall only fly in the sky with my Eternity’s beloved friend, my soul-bird. I shall remain inside the Golden Boat of my Eternity’s Pilot Supreme, sailing, sailing towards an unhorizoned Divinity-Land and Immortality-Shore.
My new life will be a life of life-transcending and God-inviting Smile. My old life gave me what it had: fear of God, fear of desire, fear in desire. My new life gives me the message of love of God and the fulfilment of God in God’s own Way. I am preparing for God, to become His supremely chosen instrument, Him to love, Him to please, Him to fulfil always and always, in His own Way.
Humility and Compassion
6:25 p.m.
In transit from New York
to New Jersey
Humility and compassion. What I have is humility, and what God has is Compassion. Humility is my soulful gift to my Lord Supreme. Compassion is my Lord’s fruitful gift to me.
My humility is supported by two significant members of my inner family: softness and tenderness. God’s Compassion is supported by two sublime members of His inner family: Love and Concern.
My hidden treasure is my fully blossomed humility. God’s open treasure is His fully revealed Compassion.
My humility has a free access not only to those who love me and need me, but also to those who do not love me and who do not need me. God’s Compassion is always unconditional. God’s Compassion is for all. It is the seeker in me, on the strength of his receptivity, who receives God’s Compassion. God the Compassion is only for those who try and try, but for whom success still remains a far cry. Just because God the Compassion is for them, ultimately they will not only receive God the Compassion, but they will also become most perfect instruments of God.
I am my humility-tree to please my Lord Supreme in His own Way. God is His Compassion-rain to fulfil me and immortalise me in His own supreme Way.
Obedience
6:45 p.m.
In transit from New York
to New Jersey
Obedience. I need obedience; I love obedience. I need my superior; I love my superior. My superior is my pathfinder. My superior is all responsibility. He liberates me from worry, anxiety, hesitation, fear and doubt. The uncomely forces that could easily have assailed me are well taken care of or, rather, are under the full control of my superior.
My obedience to my superior is not a forced surrender of mine. It is only my conscious awareness of superior divinity that is above me. But there shall come a time, through my continuous progress, when I shall be able to become one with my superior; I shall be on the same footing as my superior so that we can derive mutual joy. A real superior is he who cries and tries to bring up the inferior to his own standard so that he can play, sing and dance with him.
God is my only superior. Unless and until He can see me standing side by side with Him, His Manifestation-Light will not be able to permeate His entire creation. The human in me wants and needs a superior for protection and guidance. The divine in God wants and needs a partner, a collaborator, and not an inferior creation in order to be divinely cheerful and supremely fruitful.
I Need More
9:05 p.m
Kean College,
Union, New Jersey
I need more. I need more peace. I need more joy. Peace I need in my mind. Joy I need in my heart.
I need more. I need more soulfulness. I need more selflessness. Soulfulness I need in my vital. Selflessness I need in my body.
I need more. I need more determination. I need more perfection. Determination I need in my aspiration. Perfection I need in my dedication.
I need more. I need more Compassion. I need more co-operation. Compassion I need from my Beloved Supreme in my very existence-reality. Co-operation I need from humanity in all that I do, all that I say and all that I grow into.
When I have more peace in my mind, more joy in my heart, more soulfulness in my vital, more selflessness in my body, more determination in my aspiration, more perfection in my dedication, more Compassion from God and more co-operation from humanity, at that time I shall become a most perfect instrument of God in the inner world and a most perfect representative of mankind in the outer world. I need more, I need more.
Salvation, Liberation, Realisation, Perfection and Satisfaction
10:00 p.m.
In transit from New Jersey,
to Jamaica, New York
Are you a sinner? Then you definitely need salvation. Are you utterly earth-bound? Then you certainly need liberation. Are you helplessly isolated? Then you surely need realisation. Are you totally dissatisfied with your desire-life? Then you unmistakably need perfection. Are you ready to love God and serve God in God’s own Way? Then you unquestionably need satisfaction.
Pray. Your salvation-problem will be over. Devote yourself to God. Your liberation-problem will be over. Meditate. Your realisation-problem will be over. Cry from within. Your perfection-problem will be over. Feel that you are only of God and only for God. Your satisfaction-problem will be over.
Salvation is in the Christ-world. Liberation is in the Buddha-world. Realisation is in the oneness-world. Perfection is in the Krishna-world. Satisfaction is only in the God-fulfilment-world.
Published in Everest-Aspiration, part 2
Talks by Sri Chinmoy
at Aspiration-Ground Jamaica, New York
I Challenge Myself!
I challenge myself! If I have done something, I want to go beyond it, so I go beyond. That gives me tremendous joy, tremendous joy. When I lift weights or do anything else, quite a few times I make very, very fast progress. According to my capacity, it is almost astonishing progress.
Again, at times it takes me months to make a little progress. When it takes a long time, I get more joy than when I do it very fast. When I make rapid progress, I do not get that much joy. But when it takes a very long time for me to succeed, even two or three months, I get more joy.
God Makes the Decision for Me
We all have desires. When I came to America, I had the desire, out of the blue, to write two hundred books. Then God said, "You fool! Why is your hunger so limited?"
God makes the decision for me in everything. This is called spirituality. Before sincere spirituality starts, we say, "I will do this, I will do that." But once we enter into the field of spirituality, at that time our sincerity comes to the fore. When sincerity comes to the fore, we surrender. We say, "God, if you want me to write hundreds of books, or only two books, I am more than happy."
In human life there is always a tug-of-war between desire and aspiration. We start with desire. Then, when we enter into aspiration, God gives us the fruits of our aspiration. He may even tease us. He said to me, "You wanted to be satisfied with only two hundred books! If you are going to pray to Me, if you are going to please Me in My own Way, then even the desire-life which you had once upon a time, in a very spiritual way I shall fulfil."
God will fulfil our desires, but in His own Way. When we surrender to His Will through our prayers and meditations, we say, "I do not need the fulfilment of my desires. I only want to please You in Your own Way. Only give me the capacity to please You in Your own Way." Then we see that He enters into our desire-world, which we want to bury in oblivion, and from that mud, clay and sand, He tries to bring out a diamond. That is why I say that, if we enter into the spiritual life, we do not lose any capacity.
If God gives us the divine capacity, then we go on, go on making progress. Even in our human capacity, which is so limited, God creates miracles. We start with desire-life. Then we come to learn that desire-life is nothing but hurdles and obstructions. But when we enter into the spiritual life, everything is unlimited, unlimited, unlimited.
Childhood Joy
We may get a Master’s degree or a Ph.D., or by some other means we may amass world-knowledge and information. Then sometimes we see that God in a very clever way takes us back to our childhood. At that time the little books that we read in our childhood again give us tremendous joy.
The books that I studied in class four and class five I have now bought once again. Whenever I go to Calcutta, I buy those books. I have fifty or sixty of those little books. Little children are still studying them. By now, I have read many, many thousands of books, but I get so much joy from those little books which I studied sixty years ago — perhaps much more joy than I get from the complicated books that I have read.
Pain Becomes Sweet
Your dear one is now far away, in a dangerous place. Try to feel that definitely he will come home safe. Only offer him your good thoughts. He is always inside your heart, twenty-four hours a day, but you have to be conscious of it. God is inside our heart: everybody knows that philosophy. But how often are we conscious of God's Presence inside us?
You will be having a serious medical treatment. While you are having the treatment, even if it is painful, try to send your good wishes, love and concern to your dear one. At the very moment when you are receiving an injection, let us say, if you can think of your dearest one, no matter where he is, then the pain becomes sweet. Pain itself becomes so sweet when we think of our dearest ones, whether they are near or far. I always say that when we are in pain, at that very moment if we can think of our dear ones, then it becomes all sweetness, sweetness.
I Am Always at His Behest
I wanted to please God in my Sri Aurobindo Ashram life, and even in my Chittagong life. Still I want to please God in His own Way, but as my consciousness is evolving and evolving and evolving, my outer life also is progressing.
Not only the inner life progresses. In our inner life we pray and meditate. But while we are paying all attention to the inner life, the outer life also is being fed. It is not starving!
During one of our Christmas Trips I completed twenty-seven thousand poems. That evening I became the happiest person! I thought, "I am not going to write any more poems." I heaved a sigh of relief. But then, my Inner Pilot, whom I call the Supreme, stood in front of me and said, "Seventy-seven thousand!" This was not my promise to the world; the Supreme Himself compelled me to embark on seventy-seven thousand poems after I had completed twenty-seven thousand. I am always at His Behest. I may say that something is over, but then He says, "It is not over!" He does not believe in retirement.
I tell my disciples that retirement is the worst possible thing. Never retire! Has God retired? He created everything. This is His world; this is His universe. Since the Creator has not retired, how can we retire? We cannot retire. We must go on, go on.
My Heart Comes to the Rescue
Age is descending upon me. As I advance in age, I make progress. There was a time when I could not lift four hundred pounds, but now I can do it. If we live in the heart, it is possible.
When I see somebody very heavy whom I am going to lift, before I get frightened, my heart comes to the rescue. Before fear can enter into me, I immediately take that person inside my heart. Then I do not feel any heaviness.
Published in My Golden Children
Experiences in Japan
Stories told by Sri Chinmoy
at Aspiration-Ground in Jamaica, New York, about his recent trip to Japan, where he had composed his 13,000th Bengali song, ‘Shakpura’
A visitor from the inner world
I always say I enjoy my cock-and-bull stories, but I hope my disciples take me seriously even when I call them cock-and-bull stories. They are one hundred per cent true! Since they are so juicy, they are hard to believe. But I do hope by this time my real disciples know that these cock-and-bull stories are one hundred per cent true.
Three days ago in Japan, at around four-thirty in the morning, some very, very powerful waves were dashing against the shore near my room. I was sitting near the window closest to the ocean, enjoying the waves, and I was painting with a small brush that some disciples had given me. All of sudden, on the inner plane, I saw a disciple’s father. This gentleman is very, very dear to me. In the inner world he passed through the window, which was only a foot away from me, and came into the room and sat down. As usual, his job was to massage my feet with such affection, love, concern and joy. I was painting and he was massaging my feet.
I did quite a few nice paintings, and then I asked him, “Do you like my paintings?”
He said, “Of course! I like them very much.”
I said, “Then please choose one.” He chose a very nice painting. You will see it soon.
Later, I saw that disciple. I said, “Look! This painting was chosen by your father in the inner world.”
The disciple said, “O my God, this is his style! This is the kind of painting he used to like.”
Then I dedicated that painting to him. I wrote, “With my heart’s infinite love and gratitude.”
He became my disciple a day and a half after he left the body. Many, many times in the inner world he has massaged my feet, and he gets tremendous joy.
My statues in many parts of the world
Here is another incident. Previously the Lord Buddha used to tell me that statues of me would be seen in two hundred or three hundred years. This time, at Kamakura, he said it would happen in one hundred years, believe it or not. When I was meditating on him and offering him my love and gratitude, he said it would take only one hundred years. Like the statues of the Lord Buddha, my statues will be found in many, many parts of the world.
He has shown what receptivity is
Now, another story — only in Japan can this kind of thing take place! I call all my vehicles “chariots.” I gave the job to a Japanese gentleman, the husband of a disciple, to negotiate on my behalf for a very cute chariot. They said the price was $3,100. Without bargaining I do not get satisfaction, so I offered $2,800. A disciple kindly said to me, “No, no, Guru — please, please buy it! You do not have to bargain with these people! If you yourself do not want to spend that amount, I have money.”
I offered $2,800 to the man in the store. Then he and my representative talked and talked and talked. I said to myself, “My God, it is taking so much time!” The gentleman said to his wife, “I know what to say — I know how to deal with it!”
I wanted to pay $2,800. But if he could not lower the price, I was all ready to give him $3,100. My representative came back to say that the salesman said he wanted to take from me only $2,650! It was unimaginable! The price was $3,100, and I offered $2,800, but he wanted to take only $2,650. Where else will this kind of thing happen? He made the price lower than my quote!
This gentleman who bargained for me, as soon as he saw me, behaved like a five-year-old boy. He was full of enthusiasm, love and affection. Then I requested him to sit right in front of me. He sat about two feet away from me and I started meditating. Right beside him I saw a little boy, five years old. While I was meditating on him, I saw the little boy, very nice and very cute, intensely looking at me. After a minute or two, that little boy grew up by about thirty years. Then, what did he do? He put on the instrument that doctors use to examine the chest and lungs, a stethoscope. Immediately I knew that he had been a doctor in his previous incarnation.
Inwardly I said, “What is your name?”
He said, “My name is Bikash Banerjee.”
“Oh,” I said, “you are a doctor, a doctor!”
He had been a doctor in his previous incarnation. But first he appeared at the age of five or six, as a very cute little boy. While I was continuing to meditate with him, he grew up and became mature.
Now he has written me a ten-page letter in Japanese, and his wife is translating it for me. And he signed the letter “Bikash” — he did not use his Japanese name!
He gave me his card. I said to him, “I am sorry, I do not have a card. You are a very important person, so you have a card, but in my case I do not have a card.”
Then he started saying that he would do anything for me.
I said, “Are you sure?”
He said, “Yes, anything!”
Then I said, “Are you absolutely sure? Then I wish you to give me the entire island of Japan, with all of its beauty and all of its fragrance.”
Immediately he said, “I will do that for you!”
So much he received from me in just a few hours. Receptivity! He has shown what receptivity is.
The Nepalese Ambassador to Japan
The Nepalese Ambassador to Japan came to one of our functions. I knew him previously when he was an attache. Even when he was an attache, I started calling him “Ambassador.” Now he is a full-fledged Ambassador. He shows his love and respect plus his own dignity, since he is an Ambassador. But I treat him in a different way, as a young man. He shows me respect, but at the same time he shows that he is an Ambassador.
I requested Agraha to read out the letter that I had received from the present Prime Minister of Nepal. He has been Prime Minister six times. Such compliments he gave me! Nepal has accepted me wholeheartedly — wholeheartedly.
Today the Ambassador’s wife came to the airport to see us. She came up to me and said, “Please, please forgive me!”
I said, “What have you done? Forgiveness is not needed!”
“No, I have done many, many things!”
I said, “You have done many things wrong? Then pray to the Lord Buddha, not to me! Pray to the Lord Buddha. The Lord Buddha will forgive you, definitely.”
[A disciple mentioned that the Ambassador of Nepal had compared Sri Chinmoy’s peace-bird drawings to the doves that had traditionally carried messages of peace between kings.]
Sri Chinmoy: In those days they did send birds from one king to another. It is true. With the dove they sent the message of peace, so that there would be no war.
In my case, I am carrying the messages of peace of spiritual Masters, Avatars and yogis. This Ambassador had the correct intuition.
Sri Aurobindo and the Mother in Japan
Three or four times in Japan I saw Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. One time while I was singing, the Mother showed me where she had stood with Tagore and others in front of the statue of the Lord Buddha. At one point the Mother was fanning me with a little Japanese fan. Sri Aurobindo was very, very serious, watching me while I was singing Janani Mirar, my song dedicated to the Mother, and my Sri Aurobindo song. At various places they were looking at me with such compassion and joy. I cannot forget my experiences of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo in Japan.
At one point when I was looking at the statue of the Lord Buddha, I did not see the Lord Buddha — I saw Lord Shiva, only Lord Shiva. I was looking at the figure of the Lord Buddha, but I was seeing Lord Shiva.
We have been to many shrines, many spiritual places in many countries, but this Kamakura statue of the Lord Buddha will always remain by far the most significant shrine.
From Shakpura to Japan
On alternate days, Mr. Ramamoorthy got the inspiration to bless me with Indian food. The last day he went to a particular restaurant. At that place, either the cook or the server came not only from Chittagong, but from Shakpura! It was unbelievable!
When I completed my 13,000th Bengali song
I am ending with a last “cock-and-bull” story. If you do not believe that I am telling the truth, I do not lose anything.
My father comes to see me once in a blue moon. My father comes only if there is something very serious and very important to deal with. For my mother to visit is everyday business — sometimes she comes more than once in a day.
On this occasion, when I completed my 13,000th Bengali song, my father came first from our family. My father blessed me with his palm. Then he said to me in Bengali, “They say that history repeats itself, Madal. But your 13,000 Bengali songs will not be repeated by anybody.” That was my father’s affectionate comment, that nobody else would write 13,000 songs.
Then my mother blessed me. So many souls came, with flowers, heavenly flowers, to bless me and to congratulate me! They all came one by one. Among my sisters, Ahana was first. The second was Lily. Then came Arpita, third. How happy and how proud she was at my achievement! All of them were extremely happy and proud.
My mentor, Bhumananda, and others are so happy in Heaven! They say that this achievement is something that is going to last, not only in earth-history, but also in Heaven-history. They were all extolling me to the skies.
My brother Mantu also came, then Chitta and Hriday came. With such joy Hriday came, absolutely full of affection, appreciating my achievement. Chitta said to me, “Today you are the happiest, and I am the proudest! I taught you how to write poems. Today I am the proudest person and you are the happiest person.”
My observation is that undoubtedly I have achieved quite a few striking things in different fields, but I became the happiest person when I completed 13,000 Bengali songs on the Japanese train. And my mind became lighter than the lightest! What a heavy burden was gone from my mind when I reached my goal! My mind became the lightest and my heart became the happiest. Again, my brother Chitta became the proudest.
My dear ones wait and watch
My family members watch, they watch. It will be difficult for you to believe. My father died so many years ago. My dear ones wait — they wait and they watch. Nobody in my family will take birth until I have arrived in Heaven. Then they may take incarnation.
Spiritual people can stay in Heaven for some time. Usually, for ordinary people, six years is the limit. But if some individuals accept spiritual life in all sincerity, they can stay for twenty, thirty or forty years in Heaven. For ordinary people, six years is the maximum, although sometimes exceptions are made. Then they have to come down. But if they are spiritual, and specially if a spiritual Master is involved, then they can stay longer. Again, real spiritual Masters can stay in Heaven for hundreds of years.
The Saviour Jesus Christ has not come back. Sri Ramakrishna has not come hack. The Lord Buddha immediately entered into Nirvana; he did not come back. No! Sri Ramachandra, Sri Krishna and many other spiritual Masters have not taken human incarnation again. Sometimes they make promises. Sri Ramakrishna said that in his next incarnation he would take incarnation in Russia. He pointed to a place on the map, and it was Russia. But he has not come. He is not in Russia; he is in Heaven.
Swami Vivekananda said that if one dog remained unrealised, he would come back to this world. Now, where is he? Is he on this earth-plane? No, no — he is in Heaven. When emotion runs riot, we say many things.
In my case, it is the other way around. I do not want to come back — I do not, I do not. The Supreme has sanctioned my prayer. I hope the Supreme keeps His Promise. This incarnation is my last, very last.
The Japanese disciples
This was our trip to Japan. We had Mongolian disciples and we had disciples from the Czech Republic with us. That is very good! On the whole our trip was quite successful, quite successful. We were able to accomplish quite a few things to our great satisfaction.
I have been to so many countries around the world. I wish to say something about the Japanese disciples. How devoted, how simple, how sincere, how self-giving all the Japanese disciples are!
No pain whatsoever!
One doctor has joined our path in Japan. She has become very, very devoted. Definitely this doctor has brought about an improvement in my knees. After two hours of treatment, I could not believe it. I was a totally different person! I was able to walk. Usually I am dead against acupuncture because of its effect on the subtle nerves. In many places this doctor used the needles. I had no pain, no pain — no pain whatsoever!
My doctor Garima has a wonderful wish. She says that she will approach all the disciple-doctors, and every month one of them will be responsible to make arrangements for that Japanese doctor to come and treat me. Each time one doctor will be responsible.
When my Chinese doctor gave me injections for my pain, for three weeks the result was so good! Then I had to go back to him. He used to give me eight injections. They were so painful! I said to him, “Doctor — pain, pain!”
“No pain, no pain!” he said.
But with this Japanese doctor I had absolutely no pain. What a wonderful experience!
Published in The Path of My Inner Pilot