Love Me or Hate Me, but Don’t Ignore Me
a talk by Sri Chinmoy
in Puerto Rico
The Irish have a saying, “Love me if you will; hate me if you must; but for God’s sake, don’t ignore me.” I wish to address this saying to God. There are three significant ideas here: to be loved, to be hated and to be ignored. I wish to discuss these from the spiritual point of view. “Love me if you will.” Where human love is concerned, sometimes we expect love because of what we have done and sometimes we receive love without making any actual effort to be loved. And, of course, sometimes we don’t get the love that we feel we rightly deserve. In the spiritual world, it is not like that. God is constantly standing right in front of us with His all-fulfilling Love. He is All-Love; He cannot be otherwise. Very often an ordinary human being has to make a conscious effort to try to love others. But in God’s case, He does not have to will or desire to love us. Love is God’s very essence. It flows from Him eternally. An ordinary person sometimes feels that he is wanting in the capacity to love others and he tries to cultivate this divine quality in himself. But if a person is already endowed with a few divine qualities, then the love which is most essential in our human world and in our divine world, he will have in boundless measure.
God’s Dream and God’s Reality go together. He does not separate His Dream from His Reality. If, in His Dream, love looms large, then we can rest assured that in His Reality also love looms large. God’s potentiality and His expression go together. Love itself and its power of expression can never be separated in God’s case. And those who are consciously aspiring to be godlike will have this capacity. Divine love and the expression of this love will be one and simultaneous. Love is the quality and the expression of love is the capacity. So the quality and the capacity can both be achieved if one soulfully aspires for a better and more fulfilling life. “Hate me if you must.” God can never, never hate us. A man who has even a little wisdom cannot hate his fellow beings. Why? Because he knows the reasons that one hates another. One reason is that an individual feels inferior. Another reason is that an individual is afraid of someone. A third reason is that a person feels that his oneness with the other person is not complete; his real identification with the other person is lacking and there is a feeling of division. That is why he starts hating.
But how is it that sometimes one hates oneself? It is quite possible. Sometimes you get angry with yourself. You have done something wrong or you wanted to do something wrong; that is why you hate yourself. You want to do something, achieve something, but unfortunately you are not able to accomplish this. That is why you hate yourself. What do we actually observe in this hatred? We observe that our soul is separated from the physical mind and physical consciousness.
When we are living in the soul, we realise that we are not the doer. We are only an instrument. Also, when we live in the soul, we do not care for success. We care only for progress. It is our job to listen to the dictates of the Inner Pilot. Then it is up to Him whether He gives us the experience of success or failure. So if we live in the soul, we can never hate ourselves. Only we love the divine in us, the Supreme in us, who is also in the world.
If we care most for the soul, then when the soul comes to the fore, it acts like a pilot. The outer physical being can easily be shaped and moulded by the light of the soul. We cannot do it the other way around. From the physical we cannot take light and transform the soul. That is absurd. But very often we think that if we go deep within with our physical capacity or vital capacity or mental capacity, then a time will come when the soul and the physical, the vital and the mental will meet together and together establish the divine Truth on earth. But it is not possible. It is the soul that has to be brought forward and it is the light from the soul that has to inundate the body, the vital, the mind and the heart. From inside we have to come outside; from outside we can’t go inside. That is wrong. “Don’t ignore me.” Who ignores whom? It is when there is no love, no hatred, no concern — when there is nothing between us and someone else — that the question of ignoring others arises. But we have to know that God can never ignore us. He Himself is manifesting in and through us, so He cannot ignore us. When God knows that we are His instruments, His chosen instruments, how can He ignore us? We are His children. He cannot ignore us just as we cannot ignore our eyes, our hands, our feet. Nor can we ignore God, for He is our higher part. God is man yet to be realised; man is God yet to be manifested and fulfilled.
Published in Sri Chinmoy, Sri Chinmoy Speaks, part 4
Questions and Answers following the Lecture
Question: How can one bring harmony into one’s inner being when there is conflict in one’s life?
Sri Chinmoy: In order to acquire harmony, one needs peace of mind; and in order to acquire peace of mind, one has to pray most soulfully. How does one pray soulfully? One prays most soulfully when one offers gratitude to God, the Inner Pilot, or to the Light that makes him feel the necessity of harmony. Harmony has to be invoked, and if one properly invokes harmony one is bound to get peace of mind. And if one gets peace of mind, there will be harmony in what he does and what he becomes. Even in his outer movements there is bound to be harmony. We are wanting in harmony in our outer life only because we do not have an iota of peace of mind. When the mind has peace, then there is always harmony in one’s whole being.
Question: What is the best cure for our human frustration?
Sri Chinmoy: The best cure for human frustration is a state of consciousness which never expects anything from anyone, even from oneself. We should act only because God wants us to do something. We should feel that we are His instruments and that He is working in and through us. When we act or speak only to please God in His own Way, without expectation, then only will we cease to experience frustration.
The moment we expect things, we are bound to be frustrated. Expectation always creates frustration. If the individual has a desire and this desire is fulfilled, he is then satisfied for a few days. However, even if the desire is fulfilled, he will not be satisfied for very long because other desires will come and destroy his satisfaction. This moment a fleeting desire is satisfied, but the next moment another desire is not satisfied. And it goes on like this forever.
But if we feel our oneness with everything in God’s creation, then we become inspired. That does not mean we will become lethargic and wallow in the pleasures of ignorance. Far from it. Only we shall feel that we are not the doer and that someone else is acting in and through us. If we feel that we are not the doer, then we will not have expectations. If we can think of ourselves as divine instruments, we will feel that God is having an experience in and through us. And whether this experience takes the form of success or failure does not matter. It is only the experience that is important. In our human life, we feel that if we are successful, we have everything; and if we fail, we have nothing. In the divine life, we feel that we neither lose nor gain; we only rediscover what we are. We are not concerned with the results of our actions; we are interested only in rediscovering our birthright of Eternity and Immortality and bringing to the fore what we are. Everything that God has and everything that God is, is in us. So why do we have to expect anything? We expect only because we have separated ourselves from the divine Light. If we know how to rediscover within ourselves infinite Peace and Light, then we don’t have to expect anything; we only have to claim these qualities as our very own.
Question: Could you speak on accepting guidance from highly advanced beings who are not on earth, but possibly in some other dimension?
Sri Chinmoy: There are many good beings in the inner world. If you have access to the good beings, then definitely they will be able to help you and guide you to God-discovery and God-realisation. But again, there are some inner beings that may not be spiritual at all. Sometimes they pretend to be spiritual, like false teachers, and if the seeker depends on them and listens to their dictates, he can make serious blunders. But if the seeker has someone in the inner world who is guiding him and really taking him to God-realisation, then he is very fortunate. It depends on the being that he is in touch with.
Question: How can one be certain of following God's Will?
Sri Chinmoy: We can easily know if we are following God’s Will or if we are motivated by our own desires and propensities. When we do something, if we can offer the result of our action with the same joy, the same cheerfulness, whether it is success or failure, then we know we are following God’s Will. If we are not disturbed if we fail and if we do not expect to be extolled to the skies if we succeed, if we can take each action as an experience that the Supreme is having in and through us, then it is God’s Will we are carrying out.
Published in Sri Chinmoy Speaks, part 4
Indian Stories by Sri Chinmoy
Why the sun shines in England
Once an English officer came to an Indian village. This particular village was fortunate to have a few well-educated people, some of whom knew English quite well. One day, when the English officer had come to visit the village chief, two men came to the chief to make complaints against each other.
The first man said, “Sir, I bought a plot of land from this man, and I was cultivating it to grow paddies. While digging, I came across some gold coins buried in the ground.”
The chief asked, “So what is the problem, then?”
The man continued, “I am telling him to take the gold coins, because they don’t belong to me. I bought the land only, but I didn’t buy the gold coins.”
The second man spoke up. “Sir, how can I take the gold coins. When I sold him the land, whatever was inside it became his. The gold coins belong to him, so I can’t take them. If I take them, it will be all deception.”
The first one said the same. “If I take the coins, sir, it will be all deception on my part, since I didn’t pay for the gold coins.”
In this way both of them were arguing in front of the chief. The chief finally said, “Your argument will never come to an end.”
Both of the parties asked, “Chief, then do you have a solution?”
“Yes,” replied the chief. To the first man the chief said, “Do you have a son?”
“Yes,” replied the man.
“And do you have a daughter?” the chief asked the second man.
“Yes, I do,” answered the second one.
“Then,” declared the chief, “it is very easy. I am giving the gold coins to you for your daughter. Your daughter and his son will get married. Then, as a dowry your daughter will bring the money to her husband’s home. There very happily they will live.”
Both men thanked the chief deeply, “O Chief, your wisdom has saved us. We shall definitely listen to your advice.”
The Englishman was observing the whole scene. When the two men left, he said to the chief, “I am so surprised to find these kinds of people on earth, especially in India. How can such saintly people live in India?”
The chief said, “It is quite possible. Here people are sincere. They don’t know any other way to act; for them, this kind of nobility and sincerity is the only way. What would you have done if this had happened in England?”
The Englishman replied, “I would have given them each a smart slap and taken away the gold coins, saying that they belonged to the government.”
The chief was silent for a moment. Then he asked the Englishman: “Does the sun shine in England?”
“Certainly,” answered the Englishman.
“Do you have the moon?” the chief asked.
“Certainly,” the Englishman replied again.
“Do you have stars?”
“Certainly.”
“Do you have rain and water?”
“Certainly.”
“Do you have animals and birds?”
“Yes, of course.”
The chief jumped to his feet. “Ah, now I understand! God has given England the sun, moon, stars and water, not for Englishmen, but for the innocent birds and animals that live there. God certainly would not have given the sun, moon, stars and water to you people.”
The Englishman got the point.
The Emperor’s three dolls
There was once a king who had a very, very wise minister.
Everybody used to admire the minister’s wisdom. This king was good friends with a particular emperor. One day the emperor gave three dolls to the king and said to him, “I will be very happy if either your minister or anybody else can tell me which is the first class doll, which is second class and which is third class.”
The king thanked the emperor profusely, “O Emperor, I am all gratitude for your gifts. I shall always cherish our friendship, and I shall gladly ask the members of my court and my kingdom to look at these dolls.”
The following day the king invited all his very intelligent friends and members of the court to see the dolls. All of them looked at the three dolls, and some of them held them and examined them in every possible way. But most of them said, “O King, we are sorry. All three dolls look exactly the same to us. Either they are all first class, or all second class or all third class; it is hard to tell. But we can only say that whatever class they belong to, they all belong to the same one.”
“This answer is not satisfactory,” said the king. Then he turned to his wise minister and asked, “Why are you remaining silent? You are the wisest of all. Why are you not saying anything about these dolls?”
“What do I know about dolls?” replied the minister.
“Please,” pleaded the king, “you must help me. If you do not come up with a satisfactory answer, what will the Emperor say about my kingdom? He will think that we have no intelligent people here.”
The minister finally agreed to look at the dolls. “Let me take them home and examine them.”
The king said, “Take them and keep them for several days so that you can find the answer. Otherwise, I will be really embarrassed.”
The minister took home the dolls. He noticed that although the dolls looked exactly alike, there were some small differences. One doll had one hole in one of its ears. Another had two holes, one in each ear. And the third doll had one hole in one of its ears and another hole in its mouth.
“Now I know the answer,” cried the minister. “The first class doll is the one that has only one hole in its ear. This doll hears with a sympathetic ear, and then keeps whatever it hears to itself. There is no way for what it hears to come out. This doll represents very good people. When these kinds of people hear something, they keep it to themselves. This world is full of corruption and they don’t want to spread gossip.
“The second doll is also silent, but whatever it hears goes in one ear and out the other. It does not keep any information to itself. Regardless of whether it hears good and soulful things or undivine things, the information just passes through one ear and out the other. These people are indifferent to the world situation.
“The third one has the hole in one ear and another hole in the mouth. As soon as it hears anything, immediately through its foul mouth it tells the whole world.
“So, the first doll remains silent, because it knows that the world is full of corruption and it does not want to add to the world’s ignorance. The second doll is indifferent. Whatever it hears immediately goes out the other ear. And the third doll immediately tells the whole world everything with its foul tongue. This is the answer that my King needs for his Emperor friend.”
The following day the minister told the king his answer, and this answer was sent to the emperor. The emperor said, “The minister is absolutely right. Now I see that the King indeed has some intelligent people in his kingdom.” And the king gave the minister a very good reward for his divine wisdom.
The woodcutter and the barber
Once there was a woodcutter and a barber. One day, the barber went to the woodcutter and said, “I want to buy some fuel.”
The woodcutter had the wood on the back of his donkey. “That is wonderful,” he said. “How much do you want?”
“Everything that you have,” the barber replied.
So the woodcutter gave him all the wood and said, “Now, please give me the money.”
“No,” said the barber. “First you have to give me everything; otherwise, I won’t give you any money.”
The woodcutter explained, “I can’t give you that last piece of wood. It is tied to the donkey’s back and it always remains there as the foundation for the wood pile.”
The barber insisted, “You have to give me everything.”
“I can’t,” the woodcutter said again. “That one always remains on the donkey.”
“Then I won’t give you money,” said the barber. “I told you that you have to give everything. Since you are not giving everything and because you have wasted my time, I am taking away some of this wood without paying.”
The woodcutter tried to stop him, but the barber was so strong that the woodcutter had no choice but to allow the barber to take the wood.
“That barber is such a rogue!” cried the woodcutter, and he went immediately to the village chief and made a complaint against him.
The village chief said to him, “You also do the same kind of thing to him. Then everything will be all right.”
In a few weeks the woodcutter went to the barber’s shop and said, “O barber, I am so glad to see you after such a long time. I also have my friend with me. First you cut my hair and give me a shave, and then I will go bring my friend.”
The barber was delighted to have two customers. “Wonderful,” he said, and he shaved the woodcutter and cut his hair.
“Excellent,” said the woodcutter. “Now I am going to bring my friend. Once you have shaved him, I will give you money for both of us.”
The woodcutter went out and brought his donkey into the barber shop. “After you shave my friend, then only I will pay you.”
“You rascal!” shouted the barber. “How can I shave a donkey?”
“Please,” said the woodcutter, “you can see that he has got a beard, and his moustache looks so awful. If you don’t shave him, I am not going to pay for my shave and haircut. This is my only friend, my best friend. You saw my friend a few weeks ago. I have no more intimate friend on earth than this donkey. He is my only friend.”
The barber got furious. “You have to pay.”
The woodcutter said calmly, “The last time you took wood from me, you wanted me to give you everything. I could not, so you got mad and took away my precious wood without paying me. Now, before I came to you, I told you that I had a friend who also needs a shave. Since you have not shaved my friend, why should I give you any money, dear barber?”
The woodcutter took his donkey and left. The barber was so angry that he went immediately to see the village chief. The chief remembered the complaint that he had received from the woodcutter against the barber. So the chief simply said, “Tit for tat.”
Published in Great Indian Meals: Divinely Delicious and Supremely Nourishing, part 6